anyone been through this trumpy: just found this site. i am going through a divorce from my wife of 3 years. we were having problems for about a year. she left once, just dissapeared one night and had an affair. we got back together then she left again, then we seperated, then we got back together for awhile, then we started having major problems- dissapearing, ignoring phone calls, lies, missing money, $300 cell phone bills, etc. i found out about a secret friend she's was seeing, who turns out to be her new boyfriend. she's been out of the house for about 3 months this time... kicked her out a few, left on agreement a few times. anyway the big problem is that she covered this all up for so long, lied and lied and tried to string me along and make me think that we were going to work things out. to make things worse, she's an alcoholic, a child of an alcoholic and has some other issues. looking for anyone with simular experiences, to help understand all this. i finally realize that no matter what i can never take her back and i have to get on with my life, but it's so confusing. its' so hard to let go of someone you love so much, even after all the problems. does this look familiar to anyone?
Re:anyone been through this LettinGo: Hi Trumpy,
My situation is not exactly the same, but I just wanted to welcome you to Ojar and tell you you have come to the right place. Ojar has been TREMENDOUSLY helpful to me ... I can't even begin to tell you.
I am also a child of an alcoholic. I am in no way defending her behaviours because I have been through some really bad things, but I don't behave in her manner - however, there is a lot to deal with emotionally when you grow up like that. It sounds like to me she needs some professional help of her own (AA) but she has to WANT it herself or it will never work.
It is damn hard to let go of someone you love ... but it does get easier. I can't believe that I am saying that, but it is true! Never would have believed it myself a couple months ago ... but it is getting better.
Hopefully someone will have some insight for you who has been in your situation. I've dealt with the lying and hiding things myself ... it isn't fun. Eventually you will see her for what she is and the lies will disgust you and help you move on.
Hugs, Kelly
