Re:Question JimB: Druid, in your posts, you sound very sensitive to what she wants. That's admirable, but what do YOU want? If you like the friendship too much to risk it, leave it lay. If you want more with this woman, go for it. Simple, yes?
If you don't go for it, there will be other romantic opportunities. If you do, there will be other opportunities for friendship (if your actions end up damaging this one).
Re:Question Druid13: I guess...I am not sure what I want. Part of the problem maybe. I really like this person and am willing to see what happens I guess. Forcing an issue wont make anything work anyway. Gotta probably happen on it's own? Being 'out of the loop' for 15 years has left my senses dulled as to how to proceed or if I should proceed I guess....but I am sensitive to her as she is a very good friend to me.
Re:Question JTS: You are correct, forcing the issue won't help but I don't think that sitting there and waiting for something to happen will help either. Something that sounds great may slip through your fingers. Plus if it was me then I would eternally be asking myself what if. Personally, I would plan a dinner with her and tell her how I felt but make it clear that you value the friendship first and foremost. I am by no means an expert but that is my 2 cents. Good luck.
Re:Question Beren: Ah, I suppose I'll throw my two cents in, too, since I'm apparently the stud of the hour on this board.
First of all, you can take this worrying about hurting yourself and throw it out the window. You're going to be hurt. It's inevitable. Avoiding the situation will just cause you to regret not trying. As far as I'm concerned, you might as well go down swinging.
Maybe that sounds pessimistic. Throw that out the window, too. Pessimism doesn't help. Pain may be inevitable, but you might have plenty of good times between now and then.
As far as worrying about hurting her, chuck that out, too. She's a big girl. Respect her enough to believe that she can take care of herself.
Next, go out and get the album "On And On" by Jack Johnson and listen to it about 10,000 times. Pay particular attention to the song "Wasting Time."
| Wasting Time
|
| And I'm just a waste of her energy
| And she's just a waste of my time
|
| So why don't we get together
| and we could waste everything tonight
| yeah we could waste everything tonight
| yeah, ohhh
|
| And I don't pretend to know what you know, nah nah
| so please don't pretend to know what's on my mind
| if we already know everything that everybody knows
| we would have nothing to learn tonight
| and we would have nothing to show tonight
| yeah, ohh
|
| and everybody thinks that everybody knows about
| everybody else but nobody knows
| anything about themselves
| cause they're all worried about everybody else
|
| and loves just a waste of our energy
| and lifes just a waste of our time
| so why don't we get together
| and we could waste everything tonight
| and we could waste
| and we could waste it all
| tonight
|
| and everybody thinks that everybody knows about
| everybody else but nobody knows
| anything about themselves
| cause they're all worried about everybody else
| yeah
With a little luck, you'll be feeling pretty mellow now. When you start to worry about stuff, try to find that feeling again.
Take the girl out and try to have as much fun as humanly possible. Make her feel good. Is this a date, or are you going out as friends? Who cares! Treat it as both. (If she presses the point, tell her it's just as friends, but then keep acting as if it's a date.) Whatever you're doing at any particular moment, treat it as your singular purpose and not a step to something else. I don't know if I can explain it well. It's really just a feeling, and you'll know it when you have it. Nothing can go wrong because you're already exactly where you want to be. The great thing about it is that it's contagious. And then there'll be two of you feeling the same way.
Hey, just a thought. Hope it helps.
Beren
Re:Question JTS: [quote"> Whatever you're doing at any particular moment, treat it as your singular purpose and not a step to something else. I don't know if I can explain it well. It's really just a feeling, and you'll know it when you have it.[/quote">
Beren, I think that you explained perfectly. Great post! :)
