Sent this today. recentlydiscarded: Im going out of town for a while. It's something I need to do for myself. I wrote this letter to the husband and sent it off. Hope he doesnt just delete it.
****,
This will be the last attempt on my part to communicate with you about all of this
Im gonna break it down for you and let you think about it yourself.
The reason you decided to get married in the first place should be the same reason you are willing to do whatever possible to save our family.
The freedom, the independence, the partying, the dating, the hanging out with friends, the drinking and whatever else....it's all just little stuff. It's not worth missing out on your son's life. It's not worth being a part-time (at best) dad. It's not worth not getting to see and talk to your son each and every day. It's not worth denying him the chance to have two loving parents as a constant source of love and support in his life. It's not worth missing some of the best moments in his life that he would want you to share with him. It's not worth not having him wake you up in the morning to say "Good morning Daddy!". It's not worth not hearing him tell you he loves you a hundred times a day.
He alone is worth trying anything possible to work it out. I love you, he loves you. That should be enough of a reason to try. The best thing any of us have is family. Your friends wont be there for you like we will. Your friends dont love you like we do. Your friends wont do the things for you that we would.
We had our problems, Had our arguments, disagreements, but never anything we couldnt and did get over.We had waaaaaay more good/fun times together than bad. Nothing has been done at this point that cant be undone. We did things the same way for the last three years that we've lived together. It's WORTH trying to change things up and see if it changes everything. You can deny that you ever loved me. That is bullshit. I know better and so do you. You can try and convince yourself but it's not me you are fooling.
There is an alternative. Maybe you value your friends more than your family. Maybe you prefer staying out all night drinking and hooking up with girls from the bar rather than being a decent loving caring family man that gets to spend time with his son. Maybe you dont care about either of us. Maybe you dont love me. Maybe you do only love yourself. Maybe all of these little things are worth the loss of love and family that you are pushing for. Maybe you did lie to everyone all this time. Maybe you do pick your job over us. Maybe it's all true. Maybe you had us fooled.
But I cant accept maybe. I have been with you for 4 and a half years and never seen the monster that you have become lately. I have never seen the uncaring person that laughs at my pain. I dont believe that you are really this selfish. I think you have let other people convince you that you are unhappy. You have let the influences of your single friends and needy bar girls interfere with your life. I think the person I love and the person that I married and the person that **** (our son) loves and looks up to would never abandon his family. He would never treat the mother of his child and his own son this way. He would fight for his family and stop putting his own selfish wants first. He would think about the damage he is causing to those that love him most. He would stop and consider what is really important in this life.
You know what is in your heart. You know what the right thing to do is. Nothing in this world is more important to me than my family. Dont take that away from me. Dont force me to do something I dont want. Dont make a decision about OUR marriage without me. If you are really this horrible uncaring person that you are portraying then I will know what to expect from you. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you make the right choices.
I am going out of town for a while. Dont want to sign any papers, talk to any lawyers, make any agreements. Not right now. I need time away from it all. Time to focus on myself and my son. Time to deal with the possibility that you will shut us out. Time to get my mind off of all the pain Im feeling. Please give me the time Im asking for and use it for yourself too.
Still Your Family
Re:Sent this today. Suddenly Single: I hope he reads it.
Re:Sent this today. sandy: I hope he realizes what he has and what he is about to give up and chooses the right thing and begs you for forgivness.
Re:Sent this today. SugarSweet: Well written. Good for you. You know now that you have said your piece. I too hope he reads it, and wish you all the strenth required no matter which way he reacts.
Take Care,
Kimba
