Re:Laughing at myself Beren: Well, Shirine quit her job at the bar yesterday, so I guess I'll need a new place to hang out. I'm bummed out about it, but then again, it's not my problem.
On the other hand, enter girl #3, Darlene, whom I met online. Finally met her yesterday. We went out for drinks after work. And yes, she is very, very cute. Nice. And no sisters this time to complicate things.
Beren
Re:Laughing at myself JTS: #3??? Dam dude, would you like to leave some for the rest of us?
Re:Laughing at myself Beren: Just making up for lost time, I think.
Beren
Re:Laughing at myself Beren: Well, Shirine and Miriam have been fighting a lot the last couple of weeks, which really sucks because I don't get to see the both of them any more. I still see Shirine a bit, since we've apparently become good friends, but Miriam... well... I don't know if she lost interest, or if she's jealous because I spend so much time with Shirine; who knows? Truth is, I miss Miriam. Sure, she's a little crazy, but she's also really fun. It really bums me out that these two can't get along, and I hope I'm not the cause of it. Anyway, I wrote a letter today to them for my own amusement. Not that there's enough alcohol in the world to make me think it'd be a good idea to send it.
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Dear Shirine and Miriam,
I had so much fun when I met the two of you. You seemed so loving and affectionate to one another, and that really warmed my heart. Now it seems that you’re fighting all the time, and that’s not so much fun for me.
I consider myself a student of human nature. I’m not saying I’m a good student, but at least I try. One of my observations is that nothing brings two people together like a common enemy. So, as much as I’ve enjoyed the both of you, and as much affection as I feel for you, I’ve decided that it’s time we became enemies. I’m not really sure how to go about doing this; I’m not very good at making enemies on purpose, so forgive me if I screw it up really bad. Or better yet, don’t.
I guess I’ll start by telling you that you both really suck. I’ve hated most of the movies we’ve watched together. And what’s up with the way you dress? I’ve seen hookers with a better sense of style. Speaking of hookers, all the money I tipped you, Shirine, I should’ve spent on Colfax. At least then I would’ve gotten something out of it. I never really liked you anyway. I just thought you might be easy. And Miriam, of all the girls I’ve kissed in the last six months, you’re definitely the worst.
Truth is, when I met you, I took it as an opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine. Doing two sisters at the same time. Twins would’ve been better, but they’re harder to find. You have no idea how disappointing it is for me to find out that when you girls fight one another, it doesn’t involve mud or Jell-O and whipped cream. Hell, I’ll buy. You can even come do it at my place; I don’t mind losing the deposit on my apartment, so long as I get to make some new deposits. Just keep the talking down to a minimum. Shirine, I don’t need to hear any more stories about how many men you’ve been with. I don’t know if you’re trying to turn me on or scare me off, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m glad you’ve had so much practice. I hate being disappointed. And Miriam, I don’t care what the plural of “cactus” is, please shave your legs and whatever other places you normally shave.
Disrespectfully Yours,
Beren
Re:Laughing at myself Lumpy: Dear Beren,
Your Dear Shirine/Miriam letter is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!
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