Re: Is my wife a lesbian - revisited (Part 1) Fendann: [quote author=devastated link=topic=40514.msg448806#msg448806 date=1169885903">
Your marriage can survive her anger over the exposure, but it cannot survive an ongoing affair.
[/quote">
While that statement may be true, I don't think that the marriage can survive if she isn't willing to be with a MAN....that's kinda the point here, isn't it?
Re: Is my wife a lesbian - revisited (Part 1) devastated: [quote author=FatherOf2 link=topic=40514.msg448889#msg448889 date=1169919589">
[quote author=devastated link=topic=40514.msg448806#msg448806 date=1169885903">
Your marriage can survive her anger over the exposure, but it cannot survive an ongoing affair.
[/quote">
While that statement may be true, I don't think that the marriage can survive if she isn't willing to be with a MAN....that's kinda the point here, isn't it?
[/quote">
Well, the fact that she was happy, got married etc, shows that she CAN be happy with a man. My take on it is that things got rough in the M, and she reverted back to what she used to do before -surfing lesbian forums etc. There IS still hope for his marriage, but SHE will probably need more counselling on her sexuality.
Re: Is my wife a lesbian - revisited (Part 1) wizer_now: Once a lesbian, always a lesbian...I guess.
I could have written the rest of your story after reading the first paragraph. The ending was (and still is) predictable.
Cut your losses and move on, and don't look for your next wife in a lesbian chat room.
Re: Is my wife a lesbian - revisited (Part 1) piterek: Well, just received a call from the wife. I guess since today is Sunday the Drill Srgt gave them a few minutes to call family. But she could only talk for 5 minuts, so this had to be quick. She did not yet receive the letter I sent her, nor did she have any time to check the text messages I sent her and the voice mail I left her immediatelly after I found out about this last lesbian "affair." So, I just gave her a qick run-down of the events. It was hard to tell if there was any emotion on her end, or if she was at all phased by it. This was all too quick and too sudden to gauge any concrete response. In any case, she immediatelly acknowledged what happened between that girl an her. She did not hide it. But said that it was only flirting and nothing more. Also, yesterday, I contacted that other girl. I demanded she tell me the truth but she continued to deny that there was anything going on. But, I finally got to her when I told her that I knew she was getting married and to who. It seemed that this got her scared and she finally admitted that it was also flirting. In any case, who knows where that might have led if I did not intervene.
Since I only had a few mintes to talk to my wife, I did tell her that I was tired of all this. I told her that the therapy is helping me to realize my mistakes and acknowledge my faults. One thing that you all must realize this at this was not all her fault. I lived in denial all this time that we had a serious problem. I thought that everything might somehow magically fix itself. How we managed to go on like this for so long, I don't know. Maybe it was fear and uncertaity of what will happen when we do acknowledge our faults and mistakes. To her credit though, it seems like the several lesbian "flirts" she has had never progressed to sex. It was all on a more emotional and psychological level. Although, who knows...what if those "emotional affairs" were never discovered by me? Would they have progressed to an actual physical affair? Until I can finally sit down and talk to her face to face, it's all speculation. She will be getting out of Basic on March 23, but has to go immediately to AIT (Advanced Individual Training) for her MOS, so until then, we can only communicate through letters.
Before the phone call ended, I told her that she needs to tell me whether she wants to try and save this marriage, or whether she has decided that she is in fact a lesbian and only women will make her happy. I told her that she better think about this long and hard and to be totally honest with me, herself, and her family. She said she will write me as soon as she can. We'll see if this will be a "Dear John"letter, or one that gives hope to our marriage. But don't get me wrong guys, even if she does say that she wants to fight to save our marriage, this will not be enough. She will have to meet and agree to four critical conditions. Is she can't agree to just one, it will make no sense to try any further.
Re: Is my wife a lesbian - revisited (Part 1) piterek: [quote author=devastated link=topic=40514.msg449233#msg449233 date=1169962312">
[quote author=FatherOf2 link=topic=40514.msg448889#msg448889 date=1169919589">
[quote author=devastated link=topic=40514.msg448806#msg448806 date=1169885903">
Your marriage can survive her anger over the exposure, but it cannot survive an ongoing affair.
[/quote">
While that statement may be true, I don't think that the marriage can survive if she isn't willing to be with a MAN....that's kinda the point here, isn't it?
[/quote">
Well, the fact that she was happy, got married etc, shows that she CAN be happy with a man. My take on it is that things got rough in the M, and she reverted back to what she used to do before -surfing lesbian forums etc. There IS still hope for his marriage, but SHE will probably need more counselling on her sexuality.
[/quote">
devestated - I think you've hit the nail right on the head, as they say. I agree with you wholeheartedly. The question is, does she even care anymore? Though we are finally realizing our problems, mistakes and faults, have we waited so long that it is already to late? I guess I'll know when she writes her response to my letter.
Click More for the next page.
