Re: How Important Is Religion When Dating? hudson: lOprogression, i'm not sure where you got the idea that i'm intolerant of other's beliefs but that's simply not true. In fact I will fight for the right for people to practice their beliefs as they see fit.
However, in my home there will be cohesiveness. I believe that in order for a home to function well it needs both parents on the same page as far as what they teach their children. That doesn't mean i'm intolerant of others beliefs as you stated I was. It just means that I want everyone in my home to be on the same page as far what we believe.
Obviously i'm not naive enough to think that my children won't get taught contrary to what I teach them outside of the home. But I want there to be consistency inside the the home.
I would never marry someone that didn't share my beliefs because my beliefs are who I am. Not religious beliefs mind you, i'm not religious in the slightest. I don't go church too often, I'm not babtised or christened. I don't follow christian rules, I don't believe people have to act a certain way to win god's approval.
But as I stated before, if my wife doesn't share my beliefs then she can't possibly relate to me or ever understand who I am. And, you know, that's kind of important in a marriage. My beliefs aren't just something I keep in the back of mind, my beliefs make up who I am. And, really, whether people admit it or not, that's true for everybody. A person's beliefs(or lack thereof) define who they are. And like I said, i'm not talking about religious beliefs, i'm talking about beliefs in general. I'm talking about how each person looks at right and wrong. I'm talking about personal life philosophies. Beliefs(or lack thereof) play an active role in everything people do. To deny that is naive, imo.
[quote author=l0progression link=topic=40515.msg451198#msg451198 date=1170188101">
Do you deem atheism as a safe choice for your children?
[/quote">
No, atheism is a lie, imo. Lies are not safe for anyone. I believe that a person's beliefs on this earth will determine where they end up for eternity. And since I'd rather not see my children end up in hell for eternity, i'll teach them what I believe.
Re: How Important Is Religion When Dating? l0progression: [quote author=blazin's ghost link=topic=40515.msg451282#msg451282 date=1170191277">
lOprogression, i'm not sure where you got the idea that i'm intolerant of other's beliefs but that's simply not true. In fact I will fight for the right for people to practice their beliefs as they see fit.
[/quote">
Okay, so you tolerate other's beliefs enough so that they are legally able to practice them. But the buck stops there, you do not tolerate the beliefs enough to allow your wife to teach them agnosticism, using the example in your previous post. There are degrees of tolerance, its not binary or black and white.
[quote"> However, in my home there will be cohesiveness. I believe that in order for a home to function well it needs both parents on the same page as far as what they teach their children. That doesn't mean i'm intolerant of others beliefs as you stated I was. It just means that I want everyone in my home to be on the same page as far what we believe.
[/quote">
Okay. So you will not tolerate incohesive belief systems in your home, right? Does that mean if everyone is atheist or agnostic its fine? What if your wife and children are all atheist, and you are not? You are the odd one out, so should you change?
Also, is it only religion you want to be cohesive? What if you are a conservative, and your wife is a liberal, and your kids are kinda a mixed bag? Is that wrong?
The fact is no family is going to agree 100% of the tie in every area. Why does religion have to be something everyone agrees on?
[quote"> I don't believe people have to act a certain way to win god's approval. [/quote">
Yes you do. Later on you say atheists go to hell. There must be a reason they go to hell. Probably for not believing in god, right? Therefore, people have to act in a certain way as to believe in god otherwise they go to hell.
You are being inconsistent.
[quote"> I'm talking about how each person looks at right and wrong. I'm talking about personal life philosophies. Beliefs(or lack thereof) play an active role in everything people do. To deny that is naive, imo.[/quote">
I don't deny that. However, you are presenting a straw-man.
The issue is tolerance of other religions, not cohesiveness in a family.
[quote author=blazin's ghost link=topic=40515.msg451282#msg451282 date=1170191277">
[quote author=l0progression link=topic=40515.msg451198#msg451198 date=1170188101">
Do you deem atheism as a safe choice for your children?
[/quote">
No, atheism is a lie, imo. Lies are not safe for anyone.[/quote">
First off, you have proved my point. When you said you will allow them to do as they want as long as you deem it safe, I wanted to prove the point that safety is entirely subjective and open to personal interpretation. I personally don't see atheism as harmful the way you do. Because you see it as harmful, you do not tolerate it. How can you possibly morally tolerate something that you find harmful?
[quote author=blazin's ghost link=topic=40515.msg451282#msg451282 date=1170191277">
I believe that a person's beliefs on this earth will determine where they end up for eternity. And since I'd rather not see my children end up in hell for eternity, i'll teach them what I believe. [/quote">
No, you'll indoctrinate them to what you believe. You won't simply say, 'here is my stance on the issue, here is the other side of the coin, decide as you see fit!' unless you present the other side of the coin in a completely biased manor. Indoctrination is used when you force belief on someone without using evidence or proof as justification.
Since hell cannot be proven as really existing, you cannot teach them logically that your way is the one true way, the way you can with crossing the street without looking both ways. There is proof and solid evidence as to why looking both ways is necessary so no indoctrination is required, just simply teaching the child. Though I suppose now you'd be guilty of being intolerant of crossing the street without looking both ways.
Re: How Important Is Religion When Dating? WhiskeyGirl: Wow...lots of threads on religion lately!
Anyway....while I really don't think a persons religion needs to be all that important when dating, this...
[quote author=l0progression link=topic=40515.msg448686#msg448686 date=1169852359">
The worst thing is, as soon as I start talking about my beliefs they immediately get up in arms and take my lack of belief in unseen deities as a personal insult.
[/quote">
is obviously a big problem!
If someone can't accept you for who you are and be open to discussing different points of views without taking it as a personal insult then you have a serious problem and that relationship is going nowhere.
I have never really run into that myself. I have my own beliefs which are quite different from alot of people and have dated all sorts of people from different backgrounds and religions. I've always just been myself and very open about what I belief....and also open to listening to theirs.
It actually kind of sounds like you are the one who is making it so important.......
[quote author=l0progression link=topic=40515.msg448686#msg448686 date=1169852359">
Even if they are spouting blatant fallacies that among friends I'd be quick to dissect, I remain quiet. Being asked to go to churches I know all about already, or being fed bullsh*t about stones and psychics really gets to me. [/quote">
That kind of attitude will limit you to dating only people with the exact beliefs as you. If you can't be interested in them and their point of view just becasue it differs from yours....well then maybe you should limit your search to atheists only.
IMO...you coulod easily stop it from "really getting to you" by just opening your mind a little bit to the possibility that there IS a chance you are wrong {{GASP}}
Even though I have strong beliefs about such things I have never closed my mind to considering others views or simply wrote them off as Bullshit....that would make me ignorant :-X
Not sayin.....i'm just sayin'.... :P
I don't think there is a concrete answer as to "How important religion is when dating" everybody is different....for some its a huge deal...for others not so much. Looks like you fall into the category of it being a big deal. Your certainly not alone but I would keep that in mind and definately start looking for women who only share your beliefs....or non-belief as the case may be.
How Important Is Religion When Dating? l0progression: I'm a strong atheist and I find it difficult to date women who are overly religious or excessively spiritual. Personally, I don't really care if they don't obsess over their religion. Its just that for fear of offending them I shut right up as soon as they start talking about their religion. Even if they are spouting blatant fallacies that among friends I'd be quick to dissect, I remain quiet. Being asked to go to churches I know all about already, or being fed bullsh*t about stones and psychics really gets to me. The worst thing is, as soon as I start talking about my beliefs they immediately get up in arms and take my lack of belief in unseen deities as a personal insult. WTF?
I'm definitely not searching primarily for other atheists, although that would be a huge bonus. I just find it difficult in a world full of theists.
Anyway, just wondering how other people on this board feel. Does it matter at all to you?
Re: How Important Is Religion When Dating? jmarie: In the long run I want to be with a man who has no objection taking our children to church. I don't really care what kind of church it is (main Christian churches, Catholic, etc) but I think having some type of religion introduced when you're little is important, and it is a nice thing for a family to do together.
So for me that is all I really want is someone that is going to at least "go along" with the idea of taking the kiddos to church a couple of times a month.
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