Why is this bothering me? AngelBaby: I found out today that my ex husband....who I've been seperated from for almost 3 years..... had another child with the woman that he cheated on me with.
I don't understand.....I don't have any feelings for him anymore.....I've been through all the emotions and stages of divorce, and I am happy with my life now. I have J, and he's wonderful, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is that when I lost our baby, he told me it wasn't a big deal, because he didn't want kids anyway......and now, he has 2 with HER.
Is there something wrong with me? Why do I even give a shit? I feel like I'm going to puke.
Re: Why is this bothering me? alonewith2: It's perfectly understandable to feel that way, AB.
(((HUGS)))
Re: Why is this bothering me? ezydriver: That is a tough one. My guess would be something laying in your unconscious mind. Is it that it is just another reminder of the whole cheating thing? Does it hurt your ego? I think it may be that it makes you feel the whole marriage was just a lie if he said he did not want children and then goes off to have some with the other woman. It probably throws up feelings of pain that are lodged in the part of your brain which attributes certain past experiences with emotional responses. So, therefore, news of this serious magnitude strikes that part of the brain unconsciously and makes you bothered. Even though it seems to defy logic. I would guess it is a sub conscious defense mechanism.
Re: Why is this bothering me? LostTeacher: i would feel the same way J......
after all the things that my ex said, the one thing he made sure stuck was the fact that he didn't want to have kids ever.
cut to today, and the woman he's been with since day one.....and her 2 kids.....that call him dad.
it's a natural feeling, and don't feel bad about having them. and keep in mind the wonderful man that you have in your life, that means more to you than this person ever did. count that as a blessing you can fall back on, as many of us don't have that.
don't worry.....feel the feeling, and don't feel guilty about them.
LT
Re: Why is this bothering me? AngelBaby: Oh yeah, LT....I talk to J about everything.....and when I say everything, I mean everything. There isn't anything that goes on in my day that he doesn't know about.......well, with a few exceptions (ya know like potty time and stuff like that....LOL). He's my best friend, and I have no problems telling him anything....he doesn't hold anything against me, and he is understanding and supportive.
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