Re: Why is this bothering me? AngelBaby: Thanks for your responses. I talked to J about it, and he was really supportive (like I knew he would be...:) ) and I feel better about it today. I slept on it and thought about it, and the fact is I am happier now than I ever would have been with him.....and our relationship was never condusive for kids....the constant fighting and abuse would have been more than a child should ever been subjected to, and I KNOW that in my heart.
Kyleigh was my dream, and I lost her....and so a part of me died with her. I long to be able to fill that void in my life, and I know that one day J and I will have children, and I will no longer long to be a mom....I WILL be.
My ex didn't deserve to give me that liberty...of being a mom. That is reserved for someone who treats me good, is respectful of me, and wants it as much as I do. That person is J. Not my ex. And that is what I need to take from this......not that there was something wrong with me, but there was something wrong with our relationship, and that's why Kyleigh didn't live, and that's why I didn't have any children with him. Someone much more deserving of that has now come into my life, and I know that J will be a WONDERFUL dad, and I can only hope that we will be blessed enough to receive the honor of being parents.
Re: Why is this bothering me? LostTeacher: that is exactly the response i was waiting for you to give....and it sure didn't take long for you to think that way, did it!
good for you girl.....and i am super proud of you for talking to J about it...that shows the commitment you have to that relationship.
LT
Re: Why is this bothering me? LostTeacher: well, to me, that's just the sign of a great and strong relationship.
i know one of the problems i had with my ex was being able to talk to him about things. sometimes he would be fantastic, listen to everything, comfort me when needed.....and other times he would shut down, and i couldn't talk to him about anything.
it's one thing that is going to be a must-have in a new relationship.....whenever that happens to be! lol
LT
Re: Why is this bothering me? AngelBaby: It will happen when you very least expect it. That's when it happened for me with J anyway.....I had given up. I was going to be single, period. And then....there he was.
Re: Why is this bothering me? LostTeacher: hmmmmm.....intersting.
because lately, that's what i have been thinking.
i mean, i am pretty happy right now. i have a fantastic family, great friends, a good job, a nice place to live, good things going on in life. if i am single, i am single. i think i can accept that.
then again....maybe i just need a little time-out, like this time with my knee....and then there might be some perspective.
sorry...hijacking.......i am super happy that you have someone that cares about you so deeply. it truly does give hope.
LT
