It still hurts. wizer_now: I picked up my younger daughter last night, brought her back to my apartment, we spent the evening and overnight together. I brought her back this morning.
STBX was out when I picked her up, out at 3 am when her older daughter called to check if my younger daughter was staying with me, and was still not home this morning when I dropped off my daughter.
So she was out all night. I knew she was dating, for about a month or so. Didn't take her long to meet a guy and spend the night. Heck, she screwed me on my first date, so why am I surprised?
We're still married, early in the divorce process. I was the one to file for divorce. At least the second (and final) time. There were many reasons, but none were infidelity. Even though I knew it was over, the realization that she has met a guy and is "shacking up" still stings, more than a little.
I've had a girlfriend for 3 months. So I'm a walking double standard. Again, there was no infidelity on either part, at least until AFTER divorce papers were filed. I've been out of the house for less than 3 months.
It still hurts. More than a little.
Re: It still hurts. lostinva: Is your oldest daughter OK to stay there by herself all night?
[quote author=wizer_now link=topic=40531.msg448814#msg448814 date=1169907817">
I've had a girlfriend for 3 months. So I'm a walking double standard. Again, there was no infidelity on either part, at least until AFTER divorce papers were filed. I've been out of the house for less than 3 months.
[/quote">
Are you saying that you had a girlfriend when you were still living with your wife and kids?
This is the part that I'm the most afraid of. I'm afraid to hear when he starts dating other people and I'm afraid to start dating other people. Of course, this is all brand new to me, so maybe this will change over time, but it doesn't feel that way now...Why can't we just have an off-switch for times like this? (Not a die-switch, but just a switch to zone into nothingness for a little while -- actually, I think my husband does and that's how we got here.)
Re: It still hurts. wizer_now: My STBX has a daughter from a prior marriage, she's in her mid twenties, and she babysat my older daughter, who THINKS she is old enough to spend the night herself, but she's too young for that.
My STBX filed for divorce in October. I was living home at the time. I had moved out for a few months prior to that, but had moved back in yet another attempt to reconcile. When I received the divorce papers, I finally gave up on trying to save my marriage, I went upstate for a few days to clear my head and resolve to move forward.
I made several decisions, one of which was to start dating. I put profiles on match.com and date.com, had 3 dates the following weekend, and really connected with one of them. I have been with the same girl since (yes, it was way too soon to start dating). My stbx withdrew the divorce papers a month later, we briefly reconciled but within a couple of weeks we were back at it. I was living home the whole time, but we were living in separate rooms.
I moved out early December.
Re: It still hurts. lostinva: [quote author=wizer_now link=topic=40531.msg448821#msg448821 date=1169909266">
I have been with the same girl since (yes, it was way too soon to start dating). My stbx withdrew the divorce papers a month later, we briefly reconciled but within a couple of weeks we were back at it. I was living home the whole time, but we were living in separate rooms.
[/quote">
The girl you are with now must be very understanding -- or something.
I'm glad your daughter wasn't alone.
I am sorry you are having to go through all this. It must be very hard to be tied to your stbx and to have to hear about her dating life. I bet it's just as hard for her to hear about yours.
Re: It still hurts. wizer_now: [quote author=lostinva link=topic=40531.msg448825#msg448825 date=1169909696">
The girl you are with now must be very understanding -- or something.
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She is very understanding. Not something.
[quote author=lostinva link=topic=40531.msg448825#msg448825 date=1169909696">
It must be very hard to ...hear about her dating life. I bet it's just as hard for her to hear about yours.
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I bet it will get easier to hear about it. And I started it.
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