Re: Psychological Abuse? Emotional Neglect? Name it for what it is ..... Heatherann623: Crushingman -- the article has merit, yes. However:
The ex had quickly seen an attorney in between the time he was "given notice" til the time he actually took his stuff and left.
The ex had the attorney draw up uncontested papers.
The ex told me he hadn't loved me in over 10 years.
The ex has refused and continues to refuse to communicate during our separation. {Not that I'm asking him to work on things anymore, but that's besides the point ....}
Yes, it could have been salvageable -- had he taken the time to get his head out of his ass and realize it. Unfortunately, it is too late. I've already filed.
Thank you, though, for your response! It is much appreciated.
Re: Psychological Abuse? Emotional Neglect? Name it for what it is ..... crushedman: Just because you've already filed, doesn't mean it's too late. Communicate to him (a letter would be best), that you are willing to give the marriage one final shot. Tell him it would have to be a 100% effort from BOTH parties... counseling, addressing issues, etc. Tell him what you need from him to make the marriage work. Ask him what he needs from you. Try not to blame him 100%, let's face it, you had your part in this, too. When a man gets cheated on in a marriage, a lot of them fall apart. It's possible that some of his reactions are based on the cheating (not to say that he's handled it well). Think of your kids. Don't you want to be able to look them in the eye in 20 years and tell them you honestly tried everything to work the marriage out? Don't you want to be able to tell yourself that?
It's true, your husband has been an ass, but no one is perfect, even you. I'm not saying you are not justified in your thought process, I'm just saying that before you do something that can't be undone, try everything to fix it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
cm
Re: Psychological Abuse? Emotional Neglect? Name it for what it is ..... Heatherann623: Crushingman:
I did write him a letter -- a 10 page tearjerker -- back about, oh, 2 weeks after he left. Rereading it again, I feel the urge to vomit .......
Everything you said in your latest post was in that letter -- and he coldly and callously told me that it was over, it wasn't workable, and that it was not salvageable.
I can't work on saving it if he's not a willing participant. And, now I don't even want to try anymore. I just want this mess to hurry up and be over with .......
