Re: Hard to tell who left first...Pt. 2 siqtde: [quote author=Crush(ed) link=topic=40551.msg449179#msg449179 date=1169951217">
You must have one smart friend to direct you to Ojar. It has been so good for me because there is always someone you can relate to and if you have insomnia, you can talk to someone in England or Tokyo. You'll find a lot of support here.
Yep, she's one smart cookie!
I'm sorry to hear about your problems. When I read that your husband has a disability, it struck a nerve because my ex left me after I suffered a closed head injury which affects my short-term memory. In reading what you wrote, I honestly believe it is his behavior that is the problem. It frosted me to read he is not always nice with your daughter.
Which pretty much was the proverbial "straw that broke the camels back" He gets to spend every other weekend with her now (sort of an informal "visitation " schedule we've worked out for now, I can only assume that he's acting better toward her. She seems to be happy and excited to go see him, so that a positive, anyway...
Hang in there. You will make friends here. You sound like Wonder Woman with all you are doing.
Aw, gee, thanks! It help to stay busy, you know what I mean?
If he's not willing to go to counseling, that would be a breaker for me. I have to wonder if he avoids counseling as he knows he's the biggest part of your problems.
He knows. At first, he even thanked me for kicking him in the butt (his words), but then has only gone to the counselor twice since. I'm wondering if he was just "going through the motions" to please me, instead of truly working on the problem. It's a shame, though. I will always love him, but I'm afraid that he has killed those special feelings that I once had for him.
I never would have divorced, but my ex left me for another woman. This skank has the nerve to call me 'ding dong' because I forget things. What is that? She hasn't been able to conceive a child (adopted a darling little girl though), but how wrong would it be to make fun of her? Wrong, wrong, wrong. How tacky.
Okay, sorry, got off on a personal rant...
Hey, anytime is good for a little commiseration :) I told him about how I felt that he doesn't respect me and took me for granted. He says he does appreciate me, and that he didn't mean all those things he said, how stupid he was, blah blah blah. He probably really means it too, but it's just too little to late... he even asked me if there was someone else, and I told him the truth...that there has never been anyone else. Even though I was absolutely miserable at times, and extremely lonely, I have never stepped out on him. I tried my darndest to see this through, but cannot go on any longer like this... b">
You and your daughter deserve to be treated with respect. I believe without respect, you can't have a healthy marriage. You sound like a very smart and goal oriented woman and that is awesome.
Again, thanks! He also told me that he's proud that I'm "bettering myself" but that I must be wanting to find someone better, and that I must be so embarrassed to introduce him to people, etc. He says he is happy where he is, he has no desire to better himself. Which is another problem, I guess. I don't want to be with someone who has absolutely no goals in life, no ambitions other than to simply exist everyday
I know you may feel some guilt, but you have to remember, you married him knowing he had this disability, you've tried to suggest counseling etc, but if he's not willing, it just won't work.
He says it's up to me if we get back together now. Technically, he's right, even though it was his words, and his actions that brought us here in the first place...
