Re: Learning from their mistakes flipflopnomore: Too funny. made me laugh.
OH, BTW. I just got a text from him....just like clockwork
Re: Learning from their mistakes crushedman: It's funny how your priorities change as you get older. In my 20's, if I want to be honest with myself, when looking for an ideal mate I was mainly looking for a hot piece of ass that was fun to be around. Now, the main thing I'm looking for is someone that passes the Tom Brady test:
What exactly IS the Tom Brady test? Let me explain it this way- in Tom Brady's 2nd year, when he led the Pats to their 1st superbowl victory, he experienced success right away. Naturally as a sports fan I was excited, but my excitement was tempered with skepticism because he had yet to face adversity. It's EASY to be a frontrunner, it's tough to deal with adversity. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but the first time I saw him struggle he threw a couple (I think 3) of interceptions and the Pats lost the game. He made the tackle on 2 of them, and on one of the tackles he raced across the entire field and sacrificed his body in order to do so. On the sidelines, I saw him point at himself to his teammates. He faced the media after the game, and said (paraphrase): "It was my fault we lost the game. I made some bad throws that I wish I could have back. I'm going to go out and work hard this week, and try and get better." And that's when I knew we had ourselves a quarterback.
When someone refuses to self reflect on their weaknesses and mistakes, it's a fatal flaw. Usually this is characterized by "it's not my fault" syndrome. People like this almost ALWAYS blame others, or circumstances, for their predicament. In some cases they may have a partial or even complete gripe, BUT NOT IN EVERY CASE. People like this become skilled at the blame game- skilled in the art of justification, rationalization, and deflection. At first, you will instinctively know that they are in the wrong, but over time, if you stay with them, you will lose perspective and start accepting too large a percentage of blame for their mistakes.
Beware of these types, because when you fall in love with them, it will soon be YOU that is the object of all their blame. Trust me on this.
the artist formerly known as crushedman
Re: Learning from their mistakes smokin: i actually would have loved to, up till the day i caught her at his house.
theres no way in hell, that the trust could be regained. shes a tramp, and tramps belong on the street corner.....
oh well........
Re: Learning from their mistakes wizer_now: Yes, extremely well said.
The title of this thread should be changed to:
"Learning from their mistakes, if that's what they choose to call them".
Re: Learning from their mistakes Chey: I think what's important to remember is that it is not OUR right to say what their mistakes were. We only know it feels like a mistake because it hurt us. We have no right to demand change in anyone for our sake.
We can only ask they change the behaviour that hurts us. If they are incapable of doing that, that is their decision NOT to do that, and it's our decision not to accept that.
It does not allow us to stand on a soapbox and judge anyone "wrong"...it simply means we will not accept being treated in a manner that hurts us or leaves us broken. It is up to them to decide it's wrong/right. We don't get to force our opinion on anyone.
Self learning was the right choice for you to make. If your ex-partner chooses not to take that same path then that is their right, and we have to decide if we can live with that lack of commitment to the relationship.
It will only cause you more pain to demand change in others. All we can do is accept what we can change, and the decisions that we have made.
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