Re: Learning from their mistakes wizer_now: [quote author=flipflopnomore link=topic=40553.msg449133#msg449133 date=1169946419">
I tried everything. He would rather let the divorce go thru than let the world know he made a mistake. Very sad.
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A crying shame. Really. Maybe you can tape record his apologies and regrets, broadcast them on a local radio station, and then he won't have to hold onto his pride any more?
Re: Learning from their mistakes wizer_now: [quote author=Clarice link=topic=40553.msg449137#msg449137 date=1169946605"> There was no hope for us as he is a lying, cheating, waste of carbon. Oh wait, I said that before..
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Clarice, thanks for your post. But remember, this is a "what if" scenario.
"What if" your x acknowledged all his mistakes, promised to "do what it takes" not to make any more, and you could have reason to believe he was being sincere. What then?
Re: Learning from their mistakes alonewith2: [quote author=wizer_now link=topic=40553.msg449130#msg449130 date=1169946210">
[quote author=alonewith2 (SNB) link=topic=40553.msg449128#msg449128 date=1169945968">
If my stbxh would have stopped lying and cheating, we could have made it...He didn't blame me for those actions, but he didn't really care to stop.
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Then he didn't learn from his mistakes and he is still making them. And he probably always will.
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You and I think they were mistakes, but he doesn't think they were. He likes the way he is and doesn't feel he needs to change. He has no desire to be in a long term committment type relationship with anyone. So in his case, the only "mistake" he made was getting married. The lesson he learned was to never get married again. Personally, I think that's a real valuable lesson for him. :D
Re: Learning from their mistakes wizer_now: [quote author=alonewith2 (SNB) link=topic=40553.msg449144#msg449144 date=1169946790"> You and I think they were mistakes, but he doesn't think they were.
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Point well taken. Brings us to the next level. Defining what constitutes a "mistake" in the first place.
Re: Learning from their mistakes wizer_now: [quote author=Clarice link=topic=40553.msg449146#msg449146 date=1169946883"> No go, he is seriously mentally ill.
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Mental illness is a serious roadblock to reconciliation.
I think my stbx is in that category too. Either her, or me.
It might be me, because the other day, I walked into my therapists office, wearing nothing but a sheet of plastic wrap over my whole body, and he took a look at me and said...
"I can clearly see your nuts".
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