Re: am I getting dumped? katbuttkid: Yeah, we can talk openly.
But that is a big step! LOL
I mean, at this point there are no expectations, and so we haven't really defined what we are doing, and for now I know I like it this way.
easy come, easy go. Sorta, you know?
I think about how I'm fine being single and then I get a big "emotional bleep on my radar screen" as JimB put it, and I think "that's really lame. I want a fuller emotional life than just occassionally feeling something for someone that doesn't last."
I want to sew the buttons on his shirts, someday. Maybe.
I guess I don't want to talk about it yet because I still want to just check this out and see where it goes.
I am afraid that in talking about it, I'll slip into an old habit of mine of trying to flex some muscle over the situation... hoping for an outcome and trying to orchestrate it into reality.
I have felt since my divorce like the best thing for me to do when it comes to love and friendships is to let them be what they are, and appreciate them, simply, purely. I have a powerful will and can slap an agenda on anything and make it happen, but I lose a lot when i do that. I lose too much.
And so does the other person.
I guess when the time is right, it'll all come up. The important truths will surface, and be said. And then we'll know.
Eventually I'll get clear on what I want to do next, and I'll communicate it to him and express whatever sentiments are in my heart about it?
until then, I'll ride it out, I guess!
thank you.
Tree
Re: am I getting dumped? lonewolf: Tree,
Ask him.
Then you'll definetly know.
No more 'what if's'.
End of story.
Re: am I getting dumped? katbuttkid: Yeah,
I'm in what iffin' stage.
I have to be here for now tho. until I know what it is I need to know and what it is I need to share.
I guess I'm just trying on different options for size and fit... maybe one will feel right and I'll say "this is it"
I'm going to apply to the place in SLC, and see what happens. Hopefully I'll get hired there and I can make the decision then. I betcha if I got the job, I'd forget to even think about him before I acepted it!
But it's only been a month.
The thought I have lately is that anything that has been a good experience that's been fun and new, has not been a waste of my time, so no matter what happens, I have nothing to complain about or be sore over.
Tree
