wondering... ebl: I've been reading other posts and going around the Internet reading about other people's marital and long term breakup stories, and it sometimes makes me wonder why some at the very least make an attempt to reconcile while others do not.
I know that I wasn't a bad spouse. Yet I'm beginning to think that I lacked in some major way.
The day I discovered that my husband was cheating, he moved out a week later, and a week after that, I got mailed divorce papers. He never looked back. That was back in March, and he hasn't returned, doesn't even want to know how I am. After being married happily, or so I thought for 10 years, he now doesn't want to know anything about me.
Meanwhile, all of my friends have husbands or boyfriends who had at one time cheated on them, but who have begged for forgiveness and returned or who at the very least have tried to give the marriage another chance.
I wonder, why am I different? Why doesn't he even want to give us a chance? Does he think that he can get way better?
Re: wondering... wizer_now: There are so many unknowns. I don't know your story, however, I'll be happy to speculate and make generalizations that may be totally unrelated to your situation.
1) Your husband is so into this other woman (or someone else) that he has no interest in looking back.
2) He was so miserable in your relationship that he cannot even consider going back because it was too painful.
3) The marriage caused him so much stress due to the fighting, arguing, etc, that he feels he could not keep it all together if he returned.
4) He was so hurt by things that you said or did, that you did that he is unable to forgive you.
5) He has literally no more feelings for you.
6) He is a sociopath, and unable to care for, or love, you or anyone else.
7) He's having a breakdown, or midlife crisis, and he's running away from you, from his former life, from everything.
Re: wondering... tripny2k6: Only one reason for this....he's a f-ing a$$hole.
Re: wondering... ebl: thanks for the speculation, but my case is one of the strange ones where my husband and I never really argued. We had our disagreements here and there, but nothing where I actually thought, "OMG my marriage is ending". The word divorce never came up. In fact, when my brother's wife left him, my husband spoke bad about her, he said that she's a bitch cause "divorce is not the way".
My husband left me a year after my brother's wife left my brother.
Second, I'm not sure if he was really "miserable" in our relationship. Sometiems, I would pretend to be asleep, and he would come and caress me and kiss me.
Third, no stress in marriage, as arguing, etc. Again, I'm one of the rare instances.
Number 4 - maybe.... After he left, I was so upset at the other woman, that I emailed the love letters to his entire job and his parents and his boss. The other woman worked at his same office, so I wanted to embarrass her :-\
Number five might be true, but why does he search for me on the Internet? He's always checking out my blogs. I can see his job's IP address hiding under an annoymous proxy. But... the other woman searches for me as well. >:(
Re: wondering... wizer_now: Ebl,
You're overlooking SOMETHING. You gotta dig deeper if you're ever going to find it. If it's even findable.
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