Re: wondering... tryingtosmile: Hey ebl,
I think that people handle leaving a relationship differently. While there are some who later on, feel they made a mistake and come back begging for a second chance (sometimes because their "new" relationship didn't work out)..others walk away and don't look back. It is very possible that your xh will never contact you again. I'm not saying that is right or fair, but it is a possibility. It is also possible that if his new relationship doesn't work out, you will see or hear from him again one day. But those are unknowns. I think the bottom line is that having someone leave is the ultimate rejection and betrayal. It hurts and it usually makes no sense. You begin to doubt yourself and your judgement...you think, how could this person that I loved and thought I knew SO well do this to me? How did I not see it coming? Sometimes though, there are no great explanations. Some people that leave have their own internal issues that have nothing to do with you. I definitely relate to your questions..I don't understand why my husband left either. Heck, I don't think HE understood why he left. And I think it is easier for him NOT to contact me because then he doesn't have to deal with anything. Maybe your husband feels the same. He met someone else, transfered all his feelings, and just didn't want to deal with the situation. That doesn't mean that he won't one day have to deal with it, it just means that he isn't dealing with it right now.
The best advice I can give you is the advice that I am trying to take myself. Focus on you and try not to care so much about what he is doing. I know that is much easier said than done, but it will preserve your sanity! ;)
Also, someone posted on here the other day something that really stuck with me...it was called "Let Them Go"- I don't have the whole thing, but here is a part of it:
"There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you,
coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean, hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who left. "
I think about that every day...if my husband was able to walk away so easily, then it is for the best if he keeps on walking.. :-\
Re: wondering... just_me_detroit: Ebl,
It is because he is embarrassed about what he did. He is afraid of his family ridiculing him if they found out.
It is not you. It is him!
Re: wondering... weezer_sister: he didnt contact u because the other woman dont let him do so.. and he is so much into that woman until he follow all the things that the other woman want him to do.. or he dont want to contact u because he dont want to hurt or do anything that the woman dont like..
dont worry... try to move on with your life... let him go...
remember that karma will do the work.. it will bite him one day..
(and the other woman too!)
i want u to know one thing... 3 years ago.. i were the 'other woman'..
and for the whole past 3 years, my ex and i went to the lady's blog and myspace.. (same like ur case).. it is because i felt insecured and didnt trust my ex..i want to make sure that he lost his feeling for her. in my mind.. i thought that if he able to leave the woman... no doubt he will do the same thing again to me.. so i felt insecure..hmmm,how bad i were that time..
And yeah,now karma is BITING me... we seperated.. (almost 4 months now) and.. here i am.. in OJAR forum.. e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.. :-X
p/s: its ok if u hate me.. i just want to share my story so maybe my experience can help u move on.. and sorry if my english not good. hope u can understand. take care.
Re: wondering... ebl: weezer,
I don't hate you, in fact, I'm glad that you are able to give me another perspective.
Perhaps I should use my website to make her feel as if he is contacting me! :-* Just a little insinuation, enough to drive them mad...
by the way, did the husband return to his wife?
Re: wondering... weezer_sister: in my case.. my ex left me because he found someone new.. he did the same thing as what he once did to the lady before me..
my advice to you is.. dont do things that might make u regret or embarrass a few months/years from now.. think before u act..
i know how suffer it can be.. but fake it. dont let him know u are suffering..(if u dont dare to let him know u are 'im-happy-but-u-dont-know-im-faking-it') because............................. sorry to say, me and my ex laugh n make fun of anything that the lady did on her blog or myspace (that time we didnt do it on purpose.. we simply discuss about it and made sure that it just go away without any threatening thing to one of us.. it made him sure that he will never look back. but now when im in the shoes..then only i realise that what we did is just to put ourselves on the upper hand, maybe to put away the guilt and made us more secured to each other)
anyway, the exact answer for ur question whether 'the husband return to his wife' or not; is actually the thing that i also want to know... because now we are on no contact (my request) and im totally dissapear from him..
hmm.. MAYBE he is now happily with the new woman or MAYBE he will return to his wife.. or MAYBE he will return to me...or MAYBE he will find another new woman.. i dunno... only time will answer that.
lastly, my advice to u is.. move on and stop hoping.. if two people are destined to be together it will happen one day no matter what obstacle.. if not, why u make urself suffer and prolong the healing process..? stop thinking about him and move on and let go.that is what im trying to do now.. u are not alone. and remember, everything happened for reason.
thanks because u dont hate me.. now im trying to accept the loss and trying to be a better person..
im changing.. for myself.
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