Should I even ask him for this? siqtde: OK, here's the deal. STBXH and I are splitting all our debts right down the middle. We both have joint accounts with each others names on it, and he is actually taking a slightly bigger portion of the debts with him. Now because of his disability, he receives a government check for himself and one for his dependant (our daughter). He wants to transfer most of her check directly to me after we split the debts, and keep a very small portion to use for her visits to him (her necessities for his home where he is staying, etc). I have no problem with this, as we aren't talking about a lot of money he's keeping back.
The thing is, once we are divorced, should I even ask him for child support ON TOP OF the government check she already gets (which doesn't even come out of his pocket)? To be quite honest, our daughter will be taken care of and I would rather he get those debts with our names on them cleared first. I already make a little more than he does now, and he guarantees me that he won't screw me with our debts (and I have no reason to doubt him) and I have guaranteed that I won't screw him in the same way.
My mom keeps telling me to "get what belongs to me", but I'd just really want to make sure he can make the bills that we have both signed on for.
I just don't know how to handle this...
Re: Should I even ask him for this? wizer_now: [quote author=siqtde link=topic=40575.msg449419#msg449419 date=1170012420"> he guarantees me that he won't screw me with our debts (and I have no reason to doubt him)
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People change. Especially after divorce. Don't expect all promises to be kept.
Re: Should I even ask him for this? Magalucia: [quote author=siqtde link=topic=40575.msg449419#msg449419 date=1170012420">
To be quite honest, our daughter will be taken care of and I would rather he get those debts with our names on them cleared first. I already make a little more than he does now, and he guarantees me that he won't screw me with our debts (and I have no reason to doubt him) and I have guaranteed that I won't screw him in the same way.
My mom keeps telling me to "get what belongs to me", but I'd just really want to make sure he can make the bills that we have both signed on for.
I just don't know how to handle this...
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I would get the agreement you have come to in writing.
The fact that he is getting a disability payment from the government does not make it not his money. You indicate that with this money your child is taken care of. So, he is supporting your child. Regarding your mom's statement. IMHO, child support is for your child, not for you, so I think if your child is taken care of you have your answer.
Re: Should I even ask him for this? siqtde: Oh, I definitely will get everything in writing. I am just as much at his mercy as he is at mine, as far as debts go, so I have no problem getting everything on paper.
My mom feels that the government money doesn't count, since it's not directly coming out of his pocket. I disagree with her. I think she just has a lot of hard feelings toward him (which are well warranted) but ultimately, the decision is not up to her, which drives her crazy, I think.
Re: Should I even ask him for this? WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=siqtde link=topic=40575.msg449505#msg449505 date=1170026234">
My mom feels that the government money doesn't count, since it's not directly coming out of his pocket. I disagree with her. [/quote">
No, you are right to disagree. It really doesn't matter where the money comes from at all. i would do it this way. Get a separation agreeement that states how much $$ per month he owes for child support, than have him pay it period. Not as well as the goverment check, not instead of....just have him pay child support. now, if he is a decent guy and his checks are more than the child support amount...he should still send most of it your way....if the child support is more then he'll have a pay a little out of his pocket.
This way its all above board and fair for every one....there will be times when you and he are at each others throat...you don't want to have to rely on his just being a nice guy and forwarding the check when there is no set amount in writing.
It is ridiculous of your mother to say the goverment money doesn't count. You would be laughed out of the court room if you went in using that logic.
"Well, yes your honor he does already pay me....but that money came from the government so it doesn't count" ::) Ya see what I mean?
Just get a child support order in place....save yourself some stress down the road :)
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