Re: Feeling hopeless abandoned1: Igv,
I suspect, unfortunately, that you have no friends or family you could move in with temporarily? Is this so?
It would be sooo much easier if you had the option of moving out. Getting him to move out seems quite improbable based on what you've told us of his behavior. I don't think there's a chance in Hell he'll move out of the apartment he's paying the rent for.
Do you have a savings account you can access? Any money at all? I don't think you should initiate any legal or divorce proceedings until you secure a place to stay, and a means to live from day-to-day. Once you are out of the apartment, and are able to at least house and feed yourself, I would consider getting free, or low-fee legal assistance/advice. Check with your county/city courthouse and see if they can refer you to a "Pro-Bono" (donates time for free to those in need. Typically poor and/or unemployed)attorney. There is also the option of trying to find a paralegal who may help advise you - although an attorney is always best.
I agree that your situation is very unhealthy. I can relate because I had a similar situation with my wife - although I was the one who made the most money by far, as she is a full-time student working two part-time jobs. Anyway... she moved in with girlfriends for a month, then moved in with the guy I correctly suspected she had been having an affair with. That sucked - but it was better than living with her acting like your husband, and not coming home until the wee hours of the morning after being out all night. That was torture I would not tolerate. No way.
Give us more info. about your situation so we can better guide you. Okay?
Re: Feeling hopeless lgv: Sorry for not replying sooner.
Well, yesterday morning I finally got an email... yup, he could not do it face to face, but it is better than nothing.
In his long email he points over and over that he is 'done' with the marriage, that there is not an ounce left in him willing to fight anymore. :'(
Then he explains how we should divide things and so on. He says he will try to avoid coming to the apartment as often and instead stay some other place, but that I should do the same for him sometimes when he needs to 'decompress' and come "home."
Even though things have been pointing to this direction, I have been holding on to the hope that things could work out. After reading his email and he expressing a million times that he is done, I need to find a way to let go of that hope, but I just cannot force myself. I wake up and feel that things will go back to normal, almost as a gut feeling. But, I should stop fooling myself... :( :'(
