OK, SO WHAT DO I DO NOW ???? Lostsoul: Ok Let's see. My wife of 16 year has left me and I'm not sure whay or what to do. I feel like a real dope. We've had trouble recently over her "male friend" who comes to her office every morning before anyone else gets there to visit and "help her roll the trash can around to the curb". She kept telling me for months she never sees him and that I was just insecure but angrlly denied ever seeing this guy who lives and operates a store across the street from her mom's house. Then last week she tells me she is going to tell me the truth. Thats when I got the "trash to the curb" story. She has another "male friend" I don't know either guy. Other than the store owner is at her Mom's house every day nor do I know the other friend who she is "helping through some divorce issues". This guy live by her daughter and son-in-law's house. This past Friday we ran into my ex-wife's sister in Wal Mart. She said Hi and I said Hi. end of story. Normally when I see one of my ex's family members they say something if only if we meet face to face somewhere. ( as happened Friday)
My wife is very impulsive and get very angry very quickly if I go by her office unanonced.
Ok I suspect something but to make an argument Sunday night about an event thta happened Friday and start yelling and screming at me then pack ALL her belongings and leave is kinda I don't know. "over kill"??? SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEED BACK !!! I don't know what to do and work comes early in the morning!!! Help SOMEBOBY :( :-\ :(
Re: WHAT DO I DO NOW ???? Will someone talk with me? devastated: From what you have said, it looks very likely your wife is having an affair. You should gather evidence of this before you confront her, as a confrontation without proof is useless -she will just deny everything and you will be back at square one.
There are many ways to check if she's having an affair, phone records, call logs, SMS/IM logs, get a keylogger on your home PC and check her emails, receipts in her purse. Of course, do all this discretely and try to find out all you can. If she finds out you've been snooping she will get really angry and defensive and will be more careful. People in affairs are usually careless, they think they will never get caught until they do. Its not hard to spot signs of an affair if you look hard enough.
Re: OK, SO WHAT DO I DO NOW ???? wizer_now: There's nothing that anyone here can say or do that will change your situation. It sounds like the classic case of wife becomes withdrawn from the marriage, has an affair, and moves on. In your case everything was fairly compressed into a short time period, and you are understandably reeling from the blow.
You are going to have to start looking forward, and you will probably have to move on, just as she has. At least in your case, she's the one that left, so you still have your familiar surroundings for support, and I guess no children to complicate matters?
Hang in there, go to work, try to focus on what is in front of you, and deal with the other stuff as necessary. Take it slow. One thing at a time.
Re: OK, SO WHAT DO I DO NOW ???? Lostsoul: I really appreciate the input I've gotten. I have to come to terms with my loss "rough to do right now". As dumb as it may sound I love her and these events have left me feeling like I was punched in the gut and hit over the head with a pipe at the same time, and this was done by someone I trusted with my life. To an even more "dumber" moves on my part. I called her at work today and ask her out to eat after work. She declined but agreed to come over and talk. She walked in the door cursing me and then grabbed trash bags from the kitchen and started going from room to room throwing stuff in them. She never missed a beat in telling me what a sorry excuse for a man and a ringed tail baboon I was. There were lots of the F-----& M--F--- words used to describe me. After gathering what ever she wanted I set on the sofa like a darn fool trying my best to talk in a calm manner and address her complaints (and there were many). She then got a phone call threw a few more things in her now fully loaded bags and departed with a shot at my job and my manhood as she walked out the door. I guess I made a damn fool of myself as I could hear her side of her phone conversation in which she loudly and freely gloated over her handling of the "talk we had". I know I am a damn fool but like wiser_now and devastated said my world is totally upside down. I'm still having trouble possessing ALL this so quickly and can't think straight at all. I hope I can keep it together at work. By the way she demanded to know my work schedule "as I was playing games with her by NOT telling her". Our work schedules change she wasn't here so how could I tell her??? I understand she has her own reasons for wanting to know when and where we'll be working next hitch. And that's hurts like hell too. I don't know what to do next. I thought about changing the door locks for security reasons. I learned her sister and nephew were recently arrested for burglary and possession of schedule III narcotics. I didn't find ANY of that out until she mentioned it as she was leaving last Sunday. Ok my brain is oatmeal right now, I've been gaffed by my wife about my "use to/with" ok ever being able to satisfy ANY woman. It ain't getting no better and I can't keep my mind on anything. She said "call me again sometime" then laughed as she drove off. I discovered that she had taken ALL the bills tonight. credit card bills, lights, water, phone and cable every single one. Why would she do that it makes NO sense ! They have to be paid and I need them to pay them......go figure ! Should I call her and ask for them back ? Or just let it go and try and track down what's owed who and when ?
I loved her so much. ok love her and I know I'm dumber than a brick when it comes to her. Heck I always have been I guess..... Lost Soul wondering what to do here all alone in this big old empty house with only my memories. Thanks for listening. I gotta "man up" I know that but I feel so dang low right now. :'(
Re: OK, SO WHAT DO I DO NOW ???? Fendann: If the bills are in your name, I would definitely get those bills back from her. You'll end up getting screwed, and she has NO right to have them. Gotta look out for number one...and that's YOU.
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