I don't expect an pats on the back, I'm no angel, but I do have a human side. TotallyAstray: Ok... so there i was .. (timeline)
1993 - Working on a drilling rig, dating a woman i marry 2 years later.
1995 - get married, still working on a drilling rig, married my best friend.
[color=red"> 1997 - start to notice that she when I come home she won't even talk to me and has zero interest in me. I mean absolutely NO interest what-so-ever, she even starts going to bed at 7 or 8 at night to avoid me. I have a nervous break down. SO i immediatetly quit the rigs, (a job which i really liked) sell my truck, buy a car and get a job in the city. I work here and there, enough to pay bills and live comfortable. She stresses about money a lot. Still won't talk or give me any attention. [/color">
[color=green"> 1998 - No changes, I get frustrated and get emotionalyly at first, then intimately involved with another woman. I suggest we go to councelling, which at first she says no. Then agrees. we go to councelling for almost a year. At this point I think our marriage is over but know that i still have feelings for my wife. I tell her about the affair. Doesn't go well of course. We get to the point where she wants a divorce and I say no way. We separated for 6 months. Then get back together, the affair totally over - no contact at all. We move out of the city to a smaller town and buy a house. [/color">
1999 - I take up a trade (welding) (in town) and establish a good income, our relationship feels good.
2002 - go back to the rigs for one year to catch up on bills.
2003 - relationship is "happy go lucky". We plan a baby, get pregnant. Baby girl. I quit the rigs a month early to be there for her before the baby. ( I never go back!) I am everything a husband could be for his pregnant wife. After the baby is born we are ecstatic and very happy parents. BUT...she has zero sex drive and doesn't like to talk about it. Says that she's tired and just wants to sleep all the time. I am very domesticated and help out with "everything" from diapers, dishes and laundry to doing all the yard work and fixing our vehicles. I think that maybe this will pass, so 2 years go by. We have sex maybe 6 times in those 2 years. During those two years, I try everything i know to get her to make out with me, snuggle in bed, have sex, try to climb in to the shower with her. All met with outright rejection and denial. Shes just not in the mood!
Ever since the affair, I have been browbeaten about being out late or not calling in when i'm out with the guys. I am constantly reminded about it and the fact that she still isn't over what I did. I don't hold it against her at all and admit that I messed up. Hoping that one day she will forgive me enough to not talk about it. All the time. I do everything I can to help her out in and out of the house to try to make her life more enjoyable.
2005 we are pregnant again...not unexpectadly but such a chance because our lack of frequent sex. This time the pregnancy is much different, she is tired and very moody, given the fact that she isnt' getting 13 hours of sleep a day like in the first one. Baby boy comes and we are again ecstatice parents. But there is an underlying feeling of uneasyness due to the stress in our relationship already. I am feeling very lonely in the marriage and being everything a husband "can" be to his kids and trying very hard in a thousand different ways to get thru to my wife that i need to be with her and that if we dont work on things that they will go sideways. She doens't see what the big deal is and doesn't think there is anything wrong.
THEN...I start chatting online... for hours.. almost every night. I get pretty involved with talking to women online. Not dirty talk, just adult talk, but very intimately about our lives, marriages or lack of. I get emotionally involved with on woman in another province, till its clear that we are too involved when we are crying on the mic during a chat session. ( At this time not thinking that i'm having an affair, which i was. any emotional involvement with another woman is an affair.. so i learn and understand at a later date) Still nothing happening in our relationship, intimately in any way. I sleep looking at one wall, she sleeps looking at the other and there is room for another person between us in our queen sized bed.
I keep chatting, and actually agree to meet with one woman 400 miles away, lying to my wife about a needing study time for a course I was taking. She was away at her mothers for the weekend. I did have sex with the other woman and after that i realized that I definitely shouldn't have done it.
