Re: still more .. but finally an end.. Lumpy: That's awesome chaos. You're my hero! ;D
Re: still more .. but finally an end.. chaos40: I'm starting a new trend here.. Come on say it with me....
RUN!
Re: still more .. but finally an end.. crushedman: all-
No one can reasonably expect to marry someone, continually refuse to have sex with them, and have them remain faithful. Dry spell- yes. Extenuating circumstances, yes. But it can't go on indefinetely. IMO, someone that refuses their partner sex for no good reason is commiting a crime just as bad as infidelity. Also, it's not realistic to expect someone to meet all or most of YOUR needs, but meet none or almost none of theirs. I don't think it's passive aggressive to cut her off financially, especially if you explain the reasoning behind it.
cm
Re: still more .. but finally an end.. 2be: [quote author=crushingman link=topic=40596.msg450368#msg450368 date=1170107239">
all-
No one can reasonably expect to marry someone, continually refuse to have sex with them, and have them remain faithful. Dry spell- yes. Extenuating circumstances, yes. But it can't go on indefinetely. IMO, someone that refuses their partner sex for no good reason is commiting a crime just as bad as infidelity. Also, it's not realistic to expect someone to meet all or most of YOUR needs, but meet none or almost none of theirs. I don't think it's passive aggressive to cut her off financially, especially if you explain the reasoning behind it.
cm
[/quote">
You know what? I went over 9 months without sex because my wife and I were having issues. Did I cheat? No. Would I have cheated? Never. I do not cheat, period... I don't care how long it has been. My wife cheated... I didn't.
Cheating is a coward's way out. If you can't deal with the marriage and the lack of sex, then divorce, but at least have the balls to divorce before you start pursuing others. This is just a very serious topic for me. I believe we are sexual beings but that said, we also are above our animal "rutting" instincts. If there is a sexual issue, then resolve it together. If it won't resolve, and you can't deal with infrequent sex... then divorce.
an end??? Not today.... a beginning??? You won't believe this.. TotallyAstray: Last night I posted my life on ojar... literally. I also had a copy of the posting on a word doc on my computer....I'm sure some of you can see where this is going. I got to sleep at about 2 am and was up at 4:45 am to go to work for 6. I was at work for 4 hours....and I get a message to call home, theres an emergency. For 30 mins i call and call and even phone the neighbor to look out the window to see if my house is on fire and then she sends her son over to see whats going on. He goes and comes back.. nothing out of the ordinary, everyones home and apparently fine. Finally a friend of my wifes, who's at my house phones me back, "You have a family emergency, you need to come home now, your son fell off his bed and hurt his arm." end of phone call. I'm like what the hell? I'm 45 mins away and the hospital is 15 mins from my house. Long story short... she went snooping on my computer and found the copy of the posting...... :o
I get home...there are no kids, just the wife. It takes me all of 30 seconds to figure it out. Then of course the questions. She knows everything now.. absolutely everything. Theres not much else to tell. Divorce is absolute in her mind now and she is respectably "pissed". We talk about it and she calms down, realizing that there is a reason I've been sleeping on the couch in the basement for the past 2 weeks and also a reason why we haven't had sex in....I can't recall actually. We have been talking about all the details of us getting a divorce for almost a month now. But I realize that she wasn't believing that it was happening or she was not wanting it to happen.
SOO... talk about feeling the size of a flea. I was mortified that she read the posting. I can only imagine how hurt she was. I'm not into punishing or causing people pain but i sure hit the nail on the head this morning! Anyhow, we talked more about divorce details.
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