MAN LAWS PennyLane:
>> These are from the Manlaw Book of Man Behavior just released.....
>
> The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd
>
> 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>
> 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
> (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
> (b) The moment Shania Twain starts unbuttoning her blouse.
> (c) After wrecking your boss's car.
> (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
> (e) When she is using her teeth.
>
> 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
> killed
and
> eaten by his buddies.
>
> 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend
> out
of
> jail within 12 hours.
>
> 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
> limits forever unless you actually marry her.
>
> 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden.
> However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
> 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man.
> In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
> At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.
>
> 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
> weakest.
>
> 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may
> ask
the
> score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
>
> 10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
> sunning on a tropical beach...
> and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
>
> 11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
> 12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
> 13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see
anything.
>
> 14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
> spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
> drink as much as the other sports watchers.
>
> 15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
> remain sober enough to fight.
>
> 16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
> pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
>
> 17: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
> about his choice of beer.
>
> 18: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
> yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>
> 19: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
>
> a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> c) Another set, and we can hit the showers!
>
> 20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e.,
> both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations,
> an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>
> 21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
> than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
> phone. Hang
up
> if necessary.
>
> 22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
> have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird
> and guilty
is
> no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion
occurs
> about what a big mistake it was.
>
> 23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
> for
her
> to drive yours.
>
> 24: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
> or orange.
>
> 25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?"
> with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of
story.
>
> 26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics.
> Ever.
>
> 27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you
> really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you
> informed, the definition of each is listed below:
>
> "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
> assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "Are
> you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
>
> "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling
> of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
> the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next, bitch!"
>
> We hope this clears up any confusion,
>
