To Freakazoid amess: Dear Freak:
I really don't know what else to say besides: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
All my love from,
The woman who can outdo you, outsmart you, outnumber you, outrun you, outwit you, ( he.., a tossed salad could outwit you), but cannot outlie you.
ok, today is my sarky day. :D
But wait, I'm not done. Here is my answer to your very misleading online dating profile:
*all identifiable and the more incriminating evidence ommitted ( although all true).
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Re:To Freakazoid amess: WHY YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME
I'm currently married, am separated, getting a divorce ( don't know when). It's a messy one. I'm not very good socially, but I try. I really only like my friends, probably won't like yours. I work hard on my pecadillos, for example, I'm impossibly critical and judgemental, self-centered, egotistical. I can freeze someone out for days, when I am disappointed, which I usually am. I'm moody, will not generate much action, but am game if you do all the work and I can follow. I am preoccupied with body image and beauty rating approval, yours and mine, and admire anorexics. My motto is: the thinner you are, the more disciplined and together you are. I have been known to cross-dress, because I am so pretty. I'll cry you a river if you are upset with me; tears are such an effective tool for keeping you in line. If you are angry with me, I'll become very afraid and withdraw, so don't ever have those feelings, ok? I cannot keep promises, but I'll promise you a lot. If you are into diminshing returns, I'm for you. I do like to wash dishes though.
Re:To Freakazoid amess: MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR:
Someone perfeKt who will never need anything, ask for anything, or require anything from me. In all areas. Please do not let the idealized you become a real person. You had better keep on idealizing me, though. Someone who lives their own life, and who lets me live mine; no restrictions whatsoever, and no interdependence, either. I go my way, you go yours. I demand absolute independence, first and foremost. Everything else comes in second. This means I keep my ex's around, and have exclusionary friendships with them, so KEEP OUT. Be able to read my mind and know what I am feeling, without me having to tell you. You must love to be left hanging out to dry, guessing, for days and weeks. Please do not ask me to help you in any meaningful way, or I'll resent it ( and you might trip me up, can't take chances with my ego). You should be prepared to do as I do, think as I think, and do as I say. Someone who's politics are so far left, they are right, would help. Don't ever expect a compliment from me, or much appreciation; that is just sappy.
Affection will be handed out in doses, when I think you deserve it. Please don't be creative, or I'll compete with you ( I'll compete with you anyway).
Re:To Freakazoid amess: Well, I think that's a bit closer to the truth, and you wouldn't want to mislead anyone, right? Being such a fair, upstanding Willy Loman-type such as you are. Yes, yes, everyone likes you, don't worry. Yes, I know, every rotten thing you did was because of self-image, which, of course, is the most important thing in the world, so yes, I truly understand, all of it. I understand being used as a self-enhancing object, I do. I understand that when that wore off, the object was cast aside. Most of all, I undestand, because someone has to. ;D
Re:To Freakazoid amess: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, HAVE YOU GONE INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not go through the mailbox ( yeah, J saw you), do not come into this house when I am not here, return everything you took, AND GIVE ME BACK MY D..N CAR KEYS AHOLE NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. You want to talk harasssment? HOW MUCH MORE OF A CONTROL FREAK CAN YOU BE? I have so had it, Sie ist Herpes, Fiohsack gefahren, wahlend Sohn von einer Weibchennase B.....d. Sitte finden Sie jermanden, um sofort so Sie zu ficken, wird aufhoren, um mich zu belastigen, kann ich Sie nicht stehen. Ihre Zeit stoBen Ihr Geld und Sie mich so weit, daB ich es alle nehmen werde. Ich hoffe, daB Sie sich so wiet ein finanzielles Looh hinunter Sie ausgraben, steigen nie aus. Vielen Dank zum Geben der Welt noch ein riesignes Arschloch.
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