What to do with STBX's stuff? p_cakes7: edited.
Re:What to do with STBX's stuff? amess: Can't believe he left so much. According to "Uncoupling", which I love, that is a way of subconsiously staying connected. Mine left a lot, and at first I left everything as it was, but then I couldn't stand it and had to make the house mine, so I took everything of his, and everything that reminded me of us and put it in his office, and now I always keep the door closed. If he wants it, he may jolly well make his own arrangements for getting it. As far as practical stuff eg: wedding gifts you use, kitchen stuff, etc., there's not much you can do about those reminders, unless you just want to junk it all. I chose not to, why junk nice things because he decided to jump ship? I consider them mine, now. Anyway, most are from my friends and family; his friends and family are as selfish as he is. Come to think of it though, I still have those peat logs his sister gave us as a wedding present....... ( can you believe it?)
As far as the bed and such is concerned, make it your own, get new sheets, paint the room, make it into your room, and not the marriage room.
Re:What to do with STBX's stuff? amess: yw :) You know, P_cakes, about the stuff you know he wants back, well, in my case, I didn't send it because I don't want to do any of the work he should have done for himself. I don't see it, and as time has gone by, I don't think about it. However, if it really bothers you, you could always send it at a later date, or as you said, maybe you'll be able to incorporate it into your stuff, some of it, at least. And yes, to address the sep anxiety, it could very well be just that. It's hard to throw out everything about a life that is difficult to now think of as former. My stbx left a lot of his stuff ( knick-knacks, kitchen stuff before me, etc., music equipment), because he thinks he's going to come back and live here. SURPRISE! So, that will be a difficult time having to deal with him and the selling of the house. I found it crazy making that he moved out and didn't pack it all up, but I now just live with it. Only thing I can do is not look at it. But be good to yourself, ok?
Re:What to do with STBX's stuff? cloud: So my ex bought a bed frame for herself and I have the bed we had. A nice Pottery Barn sleigh bed but I want to sell it because I just want a bed that doesn't remind me of her and our marriage.
Should I split whatever I get for it with her? Should I tell her ahead of time that I plan to sell it?
She does have furniture at our place--including a Pottery Barn armoire--that she could sell in response or later and play it out the same way I did/do.
Re:What to do with STBX's stuff? amess: let me make clear that in "Uncoupling", the author stated that the initator leaving their belongings in the house was THEIR way of staying connected to the one they left.
Click More for the next page.
