Re: Getting Worse qmambo: well i emailed the doctors and the nice doctor who remembered me rang me and said i must come in and see him and why hadnt i been in before? So i am going tomorrow evening and hopefully he will get me on the straight and narrow again.......
Re: Getting Worse qmambo: im beginning to feel like it was all my fault again i think i lost him cos he used t be very sweet to me and i just was depressed all the time or stressed about my job, crying all the time i mean how can anyone live with someone like that he just turned into my carer and i just carried on letting him, the sex stopped (my fault) i struggled moving here adjusting to his life and then job after job i couldnt settle, i never ever meant to hurt him it just turned out that way - he says he has no respect for me now but still cares for me says it pains him to see me go through my depression and kills him cos he cannot do anything about it. My father was an abusive alcoholic and i have all these issues from my childhood and his parents were and still are perfect. now i have to live with the guilt of ruining my relationship.
But in my defence - yes i was wrong a lot of the time but thinking about his previous relationships he has always been really selfish 1st one with a girl for 2 years sais he never really loved her and then proceeded to muck her around for the next four years before fianlly dumpin her, the next one the one he moved to Oz with left him after 3 months of living with him he said she just upped andleft with no reasons but its come to light now that he was lazy around the house, the next one he was with when he took up with me (i did not know this until after) he dumped her straight off the bat to be with me - he just used her for sex and admitted that to me - so i went into the relationship knowing all this and knowing that he would never leave Oz if i couldnt make it here, an i did try honestly, but job after job was a nightmare and he would work a few hours in the day and had this cushy life style whereas mine wasnt like that and i spose i became bitter and with no network of my close mates here lonely too which i think caused my depression which he now blames for ending it - thoughts please........
Re: Getting Worse YellowJacket: You used the phrase "all my fault" but I seriously doubt that was the case. A guy who has done the things that you describe in the second paragraph is most likely not going to have been blameless in your relationship.
But it's not importnat. I think you shouldn't worry much right now about whose fault it is.
Wizer has given you very good advice about making sure you are stable. Once you are, there will be plenty of time in the future to evaluate what mistakes you might have made.
Re: Getting Worse qmambo: cheers guys right now this site is my lifeline
I am in shok still and very emotionally unstable i am going to the docs tomorrow i cant believe what an effect this had all had on me uponemin down the next its all hard just gettin by hour by hour literally
Re: Getting Worse qmambo: well i just had to text him to ask him to txt me about the agreement for finances and he hasnt txt me back, i hated doing it but i have to be strong in that regard as for all i know he never even botherd going??? but he hasnt text me back yet defo playing games with me.
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