Re: Oh my F*CKING GOD! Batman: I would have unplugged the phone and called the cops on his a$$ if he showed up at my place drunk. Don't reward that behavior. Period.
Re: Oh my F*CKING GOD! alonewith2: I remember locking the doors on my drunk stbx once. At first, my daughter and I were sleeping downstairs on the couch. Then something told me to move upstairs. Good thing I did. He ended up smashing the windows out of the front door, and had we stayed on the couch, we both would have been covered with glass!
It's absurd the things he requested of you WG. Definitely change those locks QUICK!! And then call the cops at the first sign that he's in one of those moods you won't be able to talk him down in.
Re: Oh my F*CKING GOD! WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=alonewith2 (SNB) link=topic=41026.msg458768#msg458768 date=1170971183">
I remember locking the doors on my drunk stbx once. At first, my daughter and I were sleeping downstairs on the couch. Then something told me to move upstairs. Good thing I did. He ended up smashing the windows out of the front door, and had we stayed on the couch, we both would have been covered with glass!
It's absurd the things he requested of you WG. Definitely change those locks QUICK!! And then call the cops at the first sign that he's in one of those moods you won't be able to talk him down in.
[/quote">
Mine would do the same thing :-[
And the other thing with this house is it has a "trap door" for firewood that is pretty much impossible to secure....and he HAS used it in the past after banging on windows and screaming obscenities for an hour.
*sigh*...this too shall pass :-\
Hopefully he has gone back home to Alberta and I wont have to deal with this again....I am only here for another few weeks.....
Re: Oh my F*CKING GOD! StrongerToday: [quote"> My kids are okay...my oldest takes it the hardest and wants to believe in her dad.....this morning she told me that she would have been "fine" to watch the kids...I should have picked up daddy so he wouldn't get upset like that. I explained to her as best as I could that daddy knows better but he isn't doing well right now and I will NEVER leave her or her sisters alone...her safety is FAR more important than her daddy being "upset" She seemed to understand....but obvioulsy just wants us all to get along...this is hard for her.....at times she asks if she can call M "dad"....she wants a normal life so badly...but then he shows up and pulls this shit and she's right back to feeling guilty and wanting to be the "peacemaker" It breaks my heart [/quote">
Poor lil thing. My oldest is our "peacemaker" too so I know what that's like. My ex is not as bad as yours so I'm still struggling to explain different things to him honestly but without putting his dad down in any way. I believe that's the best way to handle these things with kids, don't protect your ex in any way but don't put him down either. Does she understand what's going on with him, that he gets drunk, high, and violent like this? If she does maybe telling her that you didn't refuse to go get him because you were being mean to him but that he was drunk, high, and being abusive to you so you felt the children shouldn't see him like that? Certainly I think you'd be safe telling her that it would've been wrong for you to leave her in charge at her age in the middle of the night like that so that was why you didn't go, maybe ask her to consider how she'd feel if something bad happened while you were gone? If she doesn't understand (or is hiding it from herself because it would make her feel guilty for thinking badly about daddy) maybe you could show her gently like starting to teach her about drinking and drugs, what they do to a person, and such in a general way so she could draw her own conclusions?
No matter what I think you did a good job getting him the hell outta there! Those poor babies don't need to see him like that! And know that no matter what you just stay strong and be there for them. They will realize one day what he's really all about and while that'll be a good thing in some respects it will be very hard for them too. They'll need you more than ever so you have to take care of you.
