Flaming Cheaters Batman: I was betrayed with adultery in a very cruel way. My ex cheated with several different men and would have continued her affairs if I hadn't found out.
I've noticed that people on OJAR completely lambaste those who admit to cheating on the "Tell Your Story" board. I used to do that, too. Every chance I got I would tell them how horrible they were.
But I'm ready to forgive.
I think cheating on your spouse is regrettable human nature. I think it happens in at least 50%-75% of all married relationships. I think those of you who are still holding onto that grudge are making a big mistake.
I've just recently come to this point, and it's so liberating.
I'm not saying that I want to be friends with my ex. I am saying, though, that her affairs were just part of human nature. Sure, she could have avoided the affairs, and it would have hurt me a lot less. But she didn't. I was hurt, and it's over now, and that's just the way humans treat each other.
So the next time you feel tempted to flame someone who is a cheater, cut them a little slack. They're only human.
Re: Flaming Cheaters fkunone: Well, Batman, that's a big change in viewpoint as of late, no? I don't dig cheaters either and I have taken into consideration the human factor across the board.
Sure, being human isn't an excuse. But also being a human, forgiveness can also feel so liberating like you said.
I've been on both sides of the coin, received it and done it. I accept responsibility in what I have done. I've also accepted the fact that who am I not to be cheated on and lied to. If anything, that's even liberating.
We all believe we deserve something. Waiting to get it builds resentment.
Re: Flaming Cheaters yella: [quote author=Batman link=topic=41043.msg458041#msg458041 date=1170949664">
So the next time you feel tempted to flame someone who is a cheater, cut them a little slack. They're only human.
[/quote">
I like this, Batman, and I agree with it. But it's also hard for some people to do if it's early in their game.
I think that a lot of us forget that people are human, and they think that when they are cheated on, it gives them every right in the world to control and manipulate a situation. I don't think this is healthy, at all. But it happens.
It takes time and a lot of soul searching to forgive. We can only hope that it happens, and that the people who have been hurt by cheating eventually get over the pain and bitterness, and move on in life. Otherwise, they may never find real happiness again.
Re: Flaming Cheaters Batman: [quote author=Juggernaut link=topic=41043.msg458046#msg458046 date=1170949871">
Well, Batman, that's a big change in viewpoint as of late, no?
[/quote">
Yes, rather big. I think it's a viewpoint that many of us need to reach if we are to completely heal. I'm still working on it.
Re: Flaming Cheaters Batman: [quote author=Smiley link=topic=41043.msg458053#msg458053 date=1170950177">
[quote author=Batman link=topic=41043.msg458041#msg458041 date=1170949664">
So the next time you feel tempted to flame someone who is a cheater, cut them a little slack. They're only human.
[/quote">
I like this, Batman, and I agree with it. But it's also hard for some people to do if it's early in their game.
I think that a lot of us forget that people are human, and they think that when they are cheated on, it gives them every right in the world to control and manipulate a situation. I don't think this is healthy, at all. But it happens.
It takes time and a lot of soul searching to forgive. We can only hope that it happens, and that the people who have been hurt by cheating eventually get over the pain and bitterness, and move on in life. Otherwise, they may never find real happiness again.
[/quote">
I agree completely. I'm hoping a few short-timers will see us long-timers discussing it and find hope ... and possibly move them a little further toward healing.
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