What should I do?? alloveragain78: Heres my story and is pretty much like many here.................
My wife and I seperated about 6 months ago. We moved to TX from CO after I got out of the military last year. Things where hurting the year before and just to let you know in a quick note...She cheated on me the year before 2005 when I was deployed to Iraq...she went through a stage that she said she didn't know what she wanted, it was a hard time for me because I was over sea's for more than year and it happen more than once. When I got back we went to marriage counseling for about 2 months before we left CO to moved to TX!!! We decided to moved because she was from TX and we wanted a new start, everything was going good for about 3 months until she told me she wasn't happy. She said she didn't know if this what she wanted and that she was moving back to CO that she need it to make sure this is what she wanted. She left in July about 6 months after been in TX and took my step son and I kept our little one because I wanted for her to get on her feet...I kept him until OCT thats when I went back to CO and she said she wanted to moved back but was not going to do it until she save money. During that time of course she went out on dates and got a job at the prison as a nurse... I was hurt and mad but I had to let her do it. I myself went in 2 dates but found that it wasn't what I wanted because I still LOVE her so much!! Things got worst on Nov when I found out that she was seeing a guard at the prison where she work at. At first she told me they where just friends and that he was marry too and his wife was pregnant. To make a story short he and his wife slip up and they became a relationship and still are. What hurt me the most that I went to spend christmas with her and the kids because she said it would be nice...but it was the WORST xmas I have ever had...I mean I have a great time seen the kids no doubt but she expected me to be ok with everything and wanted for me to act ok. He called her during the time alot..mostly text message and I asked her how he felt knowing I was there and she said he understood. I was there for 2 days and no physical action happen but it was hard not to want to hold her and kiss her. I left the day after xmas head it to TX with my younger one because I wanted to take him to CALIFORNIA to spend NEW YEARS with my family. That moment that I left I knew this marriage was over and I didn't want nothing to do with her..I was so hurt and angry at her but she told me she didn't understand why?? During the my time in CA for about 2 weeks or less I didn't want to talk to her at all...I answer my phone only for her to talk to my son. I talk to her for the first time about a week and I wasn't as angry as I was but I was still hurt..I told her how I felt and how much she had hurt me because I felt she thru 7 years of been together and 5 years of marriage away like nothing. I respected that she moved on because she hads a right to be with who she ever choose to be with...but than n there she tells me that she MISS US ...MISS ME...LOVES ME and that she doesn't know if shes making the right choice. She tells me she cares for this guy but HIS not me....I told her I was filing for divorce this month and she said to please wait a little bet longer. I asked her how can she LOVE 2 man at the same time...I told her theres no way I could be in LOVE with two woman at the same time. I talk to her with respect and I told her that she will always will have a place deep in my heart becasue she was my first LOVE!!! I still love her but honestly I don't know what to do??? I'm not ready to start dating I know that because I want to have a clear mind if I find someone else. I still dream of us been a family again but I only dream...I came to realize that is going to take sometime for me to moved on. I'm scared been alone and really hate it....I want to wait for her but I know she doesn't deserved. I really just want to wake up out of this nightmare and find myself happy again in my life...the only person that keeps me going is my 4 year old son who I still got living with me. What should I do???
Thanks alloveragain78: Thanks for your advice...I really appreciated..
Re: What should I do?? wizer_now: As Fleur said, If you want to give her more time to come around, then the ball is in your court. She still has feelings for you, but she cannot be trusted, and these episodes, these flings, are probably going to continue. The chances that she is going to become a changed person, and settle down with you, and live happily ever after, are slim to none.
Can you live with the uncertainty and lost trust for the rest of your life?
I don't think so.
