Re: Ohhhhh... Freak Out! pisces22: Thanks for letting me know you get what I am feeling. I spoke to a freind of mine last night and he told me to " be myself, concentrate on having a good time and everything else will fall into place" Its tonight so wish me luck!!!
Ohhhhh... Freak Out! pisces22:
(Background - was married for 10 years, then in Oct. he left quite suddenly to me one month after my dad passed away)
Okay now the freak out - - -
I am in this choir and we have to sing at a silent auction which means we all have to go and have dinner there etc. I had no one to go with due to the fact that most of my friends here are my ex's workmates and that ended with him. So fine, I got up the courage and asked a one of the choir members if I could join her and her friends at there table. She said, of course and I felt good about that.
Then tonight at choir she tells me that the she, her husband and her friends(all male and single) are going to go out after to the casino and bar and asked if I would like to come. I said I would love to.
Then on my way home I started crying like Diane Keaton did in the movie Somthings Gotta Give. I have not been out "on the town" for longer than I can remember. I have not been with a group of single guys for as long as I can remember and the whole social situation is freaking me out. I am scared. Why am I scared? I know that I will have a good time from she told me, lots of laughs etc. I know how to be friends with men, I have three pretty close male friends. Is it the meeting new people thing? I don't know. Part of me want to bail on the casino bar thing/part of me wants to go and just be myself and have a good time. :'( I can't believe I am so upset by this.
Re: Ohhhhh... Freak Out! Mango25: Pieces -- I CAN believe you are so upset about this. You have been married a long time, and your husband left rather recently. Going out on your own with single men around is a new experience and is bound to bring up a lot of questions and feelings for you. Don't be so hard on yourself. I wasn't even married and my ex and I truly broke-up in September. I went out on my first date last months and then bawled the entire way home in the car. The date itself was fine, but I realized that this date meant another good-bye to my ex. Every step is a way of letting go and, if like me, you don't really WANT to let go, it hurts. So hang in there. Have fun with your friends. Don't put any pressure or judgment on yourself and each time will get a little easier.
Re: Ohhhhh... Freak Out! flipflopnomore: [quote author=Mango25 link=topic=41070.msg459911#msg459911 date=1171114990">
The date itself was fine, but I realized that this date meant another good-bye to my ex. Every step is a way of letting go and, if like me, you don't really WANT to let go, it hurts. [/quote">
This is a very true state IMO. It's another step towards reality. I feel the same way. In the months after my stbxh left I didn't go anywhere and I didn't date. He was out and partying every night so I hear. I felt that doing that was taking a big step away from him. I finally did it and it was fun. But I am dealing with feelings still about my stbxh so I guess it takes awhile to be settled.
Go have fun. You are doing nothing wrong.
