Ok - here's a stupid question .... Heatherann623: Today marks 5 months that we've separated -- and almost 2 months since the papers have been filed.
For xmas, I gave the stbxh a small photo album, xmas themed, and a card wishing him well in his new "home", his new life and wishing him happiness and peace.
[As an aside: I even gave our teenaged kids money to buy the stbxh gifts for xmas, and he did not do the same for me - I got nothin' from the kids. And I'm ok with that, really, well, now I am.">
Anyway, I just was shocked by a comment from my oldest child -- she nonchalantly mentioned that her dad is using the album I gave him. Pulls it out to show them pictures he's been putting in it whenever he sees them.
I mentioned this to a male friend of mine -- who stopped dead in his tracks -- and after a long pause, said that was "highly unusual for a man who wants the divorce".
Do you agree? Disagree? I'd love your thoughts.
Re: Ok - here's a stupid question .... wizer_now: I am going to take a wild guess. He filed for divorce, and he wants it more than you do. You are hoping that he will change his mind and come back to you. The fact that he is using the album means little more than he still cares about you, and wants to hold onto some of the better memories. Using the photo album that you gave him is one way to hold on. That's what I would do.
Re: Ok - here's a stupid question .... Heatherann623: Wizer - you crack me up! I can always count on you to tell me like it is. ;D
Re: Ok - here's a stupid question .... wizer_now: I hope I didn't tell you something that you weren't ready to hear... :-\
Re: Ok - here's a stupid question .... Heatherann623: And to answer your question:
He got an attorney referral a few days before we officially separated. [early September">
He had uncontested papers drawn up and sent to me [mid-November">
He withheld child support a couple of times, and knows the saying "no court order, no mandatory child support" .... so, to stop that nonsense, I filed the petition [a week before Xmas"> .
I did tell him repeatedly that I did not want this, that I wanted to go to counseling, he told me no amount of counseling would change the way he felt. The reason I filed was because of the fact that I could not "guarantee" receipt of child support from him, based on his actions. I'm sorry, but how can he not be a good father and step up and take care of his obligations? Someone's gotta look out for the well-being of our kids, and if he chooses not to, then the only course of action is getting a court of law to do so.
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