Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light ? Freckles: Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light ?
My Sister is going through a Divorce
I had hoped that would not happen
But, it brings back feelings I have had for my Divorce
:(
Re: Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light ? spooky: I feel for people more now, yeah, if that's what you mean. Ad I've always thought it was bad and waaaaayyyy too common. I don't look at them different as people because of it though, unless I find out one was doing something pretty bad.
Re: Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light wizer_now: [quote author=Freckles link=topic=41103.msg459731#msg459731 date=1171066017"> Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light ?[/quote">
[quote author=Freckles link=topic=41103.msg459731#msg459731 date=1171066017">
My Sister is going through a Divorce...But, it brings back feelings I have had for my Divorce[/quote">
Freckles, those are two distinct and different topics.
When my brother was divorced, I tried to relate...read up on a whole bunch of divorce articles, tried to get really informed so I could be a good shoulder for him to lean on. The more I read, the more glad I was knowing that my own marriage was safe and secure.
That was about 5 years ago. Now, after the fact...Now that it's happeing to me...I realize what he was going through. And you can't read that stuff in books. No matter how many books you read.
So I see his divorce in a different light, and I will certainly see other divorces differently than I would have if I had not been through it personally.
I think that you will be a good shoulder for your sister to lean on.
Your other point...about your sister's divorce bring back feelings of your own divorce...I would imagine that will always happen, although to a lesser degree over time; and depending on how you might be connected with the person who is going through it.
Re: Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light ? ctrlaltdelete: Yes, I do view things differently.
First, I'm not as judgemental about divorced people. I used to think they just "didn't try hard enough" and that any marriage could be saved. Oh, how times have changed. I also used to believe in happily ever after.
Second, I used to take things for granted, like spending time at family events with his family. Birthdays, holidays, simple get-togethers. When we got divorced it was like these people who used to be my family were suddenly not. I was no longer welcome, no longer invited, I didn't "belong" to them anymore. I swore to myself that if I was ever lucky enough to be part of someone elses family that I would never take it for granted again. I wouldn't dread going over there to visit or having them visit me. I am so appreciative of my b/f's family and really, truly enjoy being a part of it now that I know what it's like to be excluded.
Finally, I used to think that bad things couldn't happen to me. Now I know better and am a lot more careful in my long-term decisions these days.
I am no longer sad over my divorce. As a matter of fact, it's the best thing that has ever happened to me - and I truly mean that. It has taught me about my strengths and my weaknesses. It drove me back to the God I wandered so far away from, it made me realize that even when things are at their darkest, there is light to follow if you can just hang on.
Divorce has changed me for the better, that's for sure. I can finally smile and laugh again.
Re: Since your Divorce , do You see Family/Friends Divorce in a Diffrent Light ? sosad05: Absolutely!
I feel so badly for people going through divorce now. It almost makes me want to cry when I hear about it.
After being a member of OJAR, I've also learned something else. Whenever someone claims to need space or "time"...it usually means there is someone waiting for them. Even the most trustworthy, wholesome person may not be who you thought they were.
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