Neglectful Fathers Magalucia: My daughter's father went from calling her daily to a few times per week to now rarely. She often asks if her Dad is coming over. I tell her I don't think so. While he has made plans to see her, he is a flake and has not seen her since Christmas. She talks about him often but last night the phone rang while I was trying to put her to bed and I was headed out to answer when she stopped me. I told her it might be her Dad and she said she did not want to talk to him. (It wasn't him anyway.)
For me, the least amount of contact with him the better. However, I am feeling a bit sad about his lack of contact with my daughter. I know she is ultimately better off considering his drug and alcohol issues but it still makes me sad. She is still so little (2 1/2) and while she asks some questions she is satisfied with simple answers. I know that will not always be the case.
How do those of you who have neglectful exs handle this? How are your kids handling this? What are you doing to compensate, if anything?
I don't know, I am just feeling down about this today and would appreciate anyone else's perspective. Thanks.
Re: Neglectful Fathers chum: I have one of those....my kids were upset at first and said when he called they didn't want to talk to him. I didn't force it, my kids are 9 and 6 but it's there choice to talk to there dad when he feels the need to actually follow through with what he says.
My kids are way better of without the father too, he is just out for himself. Don't get me wrong I feel bad thinking it but it's the truth. Oh not to mention the really bad attitudes that come out at me after they talk to him. They are so mad at him for not being around but they dare not tell him for fear of losing the tiny bit of contact they have left.
He will be the one that is sorry in the end. All you can really do it tell your daughter how much you love her and how important she is to you. I find my kids are scared to a point that I might become non existent to them too, so be sure to let her know that know matter what you love her and your not going anywhere. She maybe a bit young for that yet, but I know that is one of my kids fears.
Re: Neglectful Fathers Magalucia: Thanks Chum. I have such a hard time wrapping my head around how any parent can be ok being away from their kids. Maybe that is a good thing. I don't think I want to understand a person like that. I appreciate your advice. I will make a greater point of telling my daughter and showing her how much I love her.
Re: Neglectful Fathers chum: I gave up trying to figure out how a person can walk out of there childs life. Only thing I can figure is they are extremely selfish and only really care about themselves.
Fel free to pm me if you want to talk more
Re: Neglectful Fathers yella: My ex is like this. He didn't even call my kids on Christmas morning. He never calls, and only sees them 12 hours a month. My family, his family, my lawyer, even the judge at out hearing all told him to see the kids more, but he refuses.
The only way to get him to see them a little more is if I need help getting T to tutoring. And that's only because he paid for it, and doesn't want to mess up his image. ::)
He neglected me during our marriage, it was a premonition as to how he would be as a father. Sad...
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