Sudden break-up lifeunexpected: Sorry for the long story, but it is quite complicated!
My ex-boyfriend and I are both the same age and it was our first real relationship. We were together for 13 months and were very much in love and had a great sex life. Both my ex and I have had emotional issues long before our relationship started, but mine improved in the past year. His, however, have been getting worse. His parents are constantly putting him down, even telling him that they don't know how I put up with him. My boyfriend likes to keep to himself and play video games and stuff, but that never really bothered me that much because I also like to spend time alone. His parents keep telling him no one is going to want him and that he's going to end up alone. I of course have told him that is no way going to happen, and that I'm not going anywhere.
He fell in love with me first, but I soon followed. He was a little frustrated that it took me a while to open up, but I did and we fell for each other very quickly. Throughout our relationship though, his lack of self confidence often came through, and he would say that he's not good enough and that he doesn't deserve me.
I also have more money than him which doesn't bother me, but it seems to have bothered him more and more. His family keeps getting into one financial distaster after another, and I think he has become bitter.
Another big issue is his lack of ambition. He used to want to get married one day, but now he says no way because he doesn't want to turn out like his parents who are only in the same house together because financially they can't afford to be on their own. It bothers me how down on life he has become, and a couple of weeks ago, he told me he was afraid he was going crazy and that he was going to start snapping on people for no reason.
Last weekend, just three days after a wonderful valentines day together, he comes over to my house crying saying that we have to break up because he is inevitiably going to hurt me. I couldn't understand, and he said he doesn't really either and that he's very confused. He said the relationship didn't feel right anymore. Then he told me he still cares and that he doesn't want me completely out of his life. Even though I know this wasn't true because my boyfriend is always home and has too much character to cheat, I asked him if there were someone else. He looked shocked by this question and of course said no. I was just looking for any explanation here, because I really wasn't getting a clear one. He didn't want to end the relationship badly and despite how shocked and hurt I was, neither did I. So we remminised about the good times and then it came time for him to leave. We hugged and the last thing he told me was that he loved me.
I can't believe this happend. We always discussed that if we felt the relationship getting rocky, we would talk about the issues first before it got so bad that we would break up. My friends and family are in disbelief and think he just acted impulsively and will come around, but I don't think so. I'm really worried about him because he obviously has some serious issues. I don't know what to do. He wants me to keep in contact with him, but I don't want to too soon. it has only been 3 days so far.
Please help me. I have never felt this hurt or shocked in my life.
Re: Sudden break-up MelanieW: It sounds to me like he is going through something serious emotionally. If I am getting your story right, it seems like he doesn't think much of himself due to being put down for so long by his mother. That is hard to over come, trust me I know. I would suggest trying to get him to sit down and talk again. It sounds like he still loves you, but is basically punishing himself for a crime he has not yet committed.
Re: Sudden break-up lifeunexpected: Thank you for your reply ;D
Re: Sudden break-up foolmeonce: He is sending you a message. his rents have beaten him down so much that he beleives it. he loves you so much that he does not want to hurt you. if you love this man fight for it. be his freind that tells him all the good he does. be his muse. do be sad , be happy that a man loves you so much that they dont want to hurt you. now make him happy by telling him you love him the way he is. if he does have motivational issues the learn to be his muse. this will be difficult but you can do it sweetie
Re: Sudden break-up Copperblade: * sigh * I really think this is either just drama, or he really doesn't want the relationship anymore. When people want to break up, they make all sorts of reasons, and especially the first time around they really don't know how to do it. If it's not just drama, then he doesn't know how to feel or how to let go which is why he's sending you mixed signals.
The absolute best thing you can do is take a step back and see if he'll take a step forward.
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