Counselor thinks we can work together seyfert: Readers Digest Version:
Strong case for parential alienation - several examples
His house isn't just messy, its bad, pictures were submitted in court.
Ex is an angry person in general, controls with anger
Me-hisstory of being controlled by his anger
seeking full custody, currently a 50/50 arrangement
This case has been going on since May 2006. First hearing was only scheduled for 15 minutes, so a Guardian Ad Litem was appointed and a new date set.
Next time, ex testified he didn't open his mail so he didn't contact Guardian. Co-parenting counseling ordered.
Co-parenting was going well for first three sessions. I felt very hopeful that we would be able to work together. Last two sessions, ex wanted to talk about the breakdown of the marriage and express his rage for my actions. I left the sessions feeling beat up.
One week before our last court date, ex refuses to go to a parent-teacher conference with me AND we get into an argument in front of one of our kids. When I realized what was happening, I "shhhhued" him. He continued to use an angry and ugly tone with me, followed me and the kid out of the room muttering stuff..........It was obvious to me that co-parenting wasn't going to happen.
Went to court, ex took so long answering questions, we only got half of the case presented.
Guardian wants us to revisit the case in 6 months provided we continue co-parenting counseling.
TODAY, we had another co-parenting and the counselor tells me that Ex's anger isn't going to go away if I get custody.....I'll still have to deal with it. She says, we can't effectively co-parent in this manner. So, I asked her, "If the custody hearing wasn't at issue, did she think we could effectively work together." She said, confidently that we could.
OK-that is her professional opinion and I have to give it weight. She does this all day, everyday and I like her. She doesn't take any BS, lays the message on the line, scolds both of us for behavior. She is impartial and I was surprised to hear her opinion.
So now......do I continue to push for full custody or try to coparent for 6 months under the counseling? I talked to my lawyer, he thinks we have a good case to get full custody after listening to half of the testimony. The Guardian is in support of full legal custody for me.
He is calling the counselor to give her more facts in the case.
Honestly, I only want to do what is best for the kids. I don't want his anger and neediness to affect them and I don't want to give in because he is angry. I believe that the counselor can make him accountable for his actions, especially if there is a return date in 6 months.
I'm emotional right now, angry, scared, frustrated. I don't have to make a decision this week, but I do have to make a decision.
I need some healthy debate on both sides-one for continuing the counseling and revisit the case, one to pursue full custody.
If anyone has an opinion, I'd sure like to hear it. I need all the perspective I can get.
Thanks so much,
Wendy
Re: Counselor thinks we can work together seyfert: Those are some of the same questions I have and what concerns me. If we go to counseling for 6 months and he is still angry, my court case will be stronger.
I'd like to be able to say I tried counseling and it still didn't work. I don't know what I will decide at this point. I need to let my own frustration fade before I make any decisions.
Thanks for taking the time to give me some very good questions to think about.
