it was all so bleedin obvious qmambo: some clarity today which i dont want to face and i think thathas been the problem: it keeps hitting me today and i mean knocking me for six like the day when phoned to say it was over!
How I can now see that the last few months he has spent making sure he was completely free of any kind of feeling for me (although his actions probably expressed this, staying at work late, moving away from me in bed etc. his words did not send sms's of I love you, my cheeky monkey etc.) before he ripped my world apart so he would be ok. I can see he actually went through months of staying with me to get to the point where he had no respect for me whatsoever and to a place and time when he knew he could leave me and it wouldnt hurt him - call me stupid but i didnt see it - i just didnt see it coming - and he did it when we both went back home but were apart and on the phone - i think all of this was premeditated a long time ago and that has shaken me to my core.
And since I have seen him in the past few weeks he has blamed me and said he has done nothin but try to fix the relationship and that he just lay awake one night while we were away and it hit him all of a sudden - after four years of friendship and 3 years of living together wham it just freaking hit him - erm nope that doesnt wash - and you dont do something like that overnight either.
But my problem is why didnt i see it - why did he hide it ?
Re: it was all so bleedin obvious Lumpy: I think we delude ourselves when we don't want to face the ugly truth. I did it myself for quite sometime. I guess I just wasn't ready or able to face the hard facts.
Re: it was all so bleedin obvious loveblue: I'm really sorry for you. Sometimes it's just unbelievable. You spend all your nights and mornings with him. Doing everything. Basically all your life has been with him for the past 4 years and he just leaves, just like that. I really don't have an answer for you why he hid it, but it maybe because he tried for sometime and reached a point that he couldn't take it anymore.
This is the sad thing about relationships, you give your all, your best when you think you've found the one, but later on, all that was for nothing. It's really going to hurt, but you need to pick yourself up and start looking forward with your life. Your life is not about him, it's how you can make a better person out of yourself and make the best of the time you have. It's never going to be easy, but you need to keep your chin up.
My fiance left me abruptly, with no explanation. I have not called her whatsover. I spend my nights with her, giving her everything all she wants and needs. She was happy and protected. Then again, nothing seems to satisfy her and she just leaves. I just picked myself up, because If I don't, no one will ever do it for me. She's gone, and I'm not going to beg her to come back. She gave up history and love we had, and if she wants to come back, she ought to work hard for it. I'm not going to suffer for her stupidy and selfishness, so should you!
Good luck!
Re: it was all so bleedin obvious qmambo: then he shouldve told me not continued to make plans hell we opend a joint account in november which by the way i put no money into thank god - he would also send me texts saying i love you - all very weird - if he couldnt take it anymore.
i spoke to a mutual friend today who said she thinks it is sinking in what he has done to me now -
Re: it was all so bleedin obvious sja: And when it does sink in for him, and he wants you back, you have to be prepared to be strong and stand up for yourself. Trust one who knows...it is difficult to remember what YOU want when the other person is acting nice and trying to convince you to come back. Things need to change in order for our relationships to be happy again, we probably wouldn't want it to be the same way it used to be. You sound so much better!!! Keep up whatever you are doing. You sound like you know you will make it rather than simply hoping you will make it.
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