How do you handle things when you are upset? Macaw_Lover: This off topic, but I have come here for issues and usually get good posts so I thought I would run this by you guys to see what you think.
Without going into it yesterday I was at work. I had bad problems going on that kept me most of the day. It waas 25 min to 5pm and 3 of my co-workers get off at that time. I was in the middle of something to do with this client I had problems (due to the vendor) and my co-worker C said I'm going to have you wait for her because she is the late person. (that night I work until 6pm) C walked by and said none of us want to stay past 5pm so I'm going to give her to you. I walked back to the copy machine as again I was in the middle of being on the phone copying stuff to send via fax and to make sure the person at the hotel got the fax so he could deliver it to my client.
I felt there was no need why C couldn't help them. I had said, well I can help her, I'm just not sure how long I would be. I was being honest. Again she had 25 min left, she very well could have sat down and worked with her instead of using me as an out so she can clock out right on the dot.
Today I was just quiet, I was a bit upset yes, but for me if I just simmer for a bit quietly I get over it if you will and move on. Well I get back from lunch and C gets in my face and won't let up. Saying why are you crabby. She just kept going on and on after I said "I just don't want to talk about it right now". She kept pushing and finally I just started telling her why I was upset. I tried walking away because how she was saying to my other co-workers how it happend I got ticked because she was well lying. Making herself out to "I did nothing wrong". Maybe it wasn't wrong, but it was rude. IF she is going to stop working at 430pm then you might as well punch out.
Anyways, when I tried walking away she said come back here, your acting childish. Growing up with my dad well we fought all the time and my mom would tell me to walk away. Because then it gives a person a chance to calm down and not say something they might regret. She then said if you don't come back here I'm going to have to get T involved (our manager).
Anyways, just wondering how you guys deal when your upset? How are you in someone getting in your face and basically backing you in a corner to force you to "talk". I personally HATE that. I may ask someone, are you ok? Want to talk? If they say no, not right now. I am not going to push it. I will say ok, well when you are ready or if you want to (depending on the reason to the person being upset).
Thoughts??
Re: How do you handle things when you are upset? seyfert: It sounds like you were trying to be mature about it by allowing yourself time to calm down before you said anything.
I would be happy to have a manager get involved. That way you have a mediator and she can tell the other person to back off for a while. If you explain that you were calming down, that is honest. The manager might want to know that any calls after 4:35 are delegated to the late person. I bet she will do something about it.
As far as what I do when someone gets in my face, I try to let them know that I am upset and would like to talk about it later. If that doesn't work, I usually leave the room. When they follow me, ranting, I pretty much ignore them. Their ranting makes them look foolish. When I've calmed down, I spend a few more hours staying calm before I approach them and ask if they would like to calmly discuss the matter.
I've used this with most people I work with or are friends with and they have learned that I just need a "quiet time."
Re: How do you handle things when you are upset? ctrlaltdelete: I usually have to walk away too, but it depends on the situation. I have been known to confront things, but if it's bad, I usually walk away so I can collect my thoughts and calm down. When I'm mad, I usually end up saying things that I regret later so I need to just go off and be alone and figure out how to best handle the situation.
After the divorce, I handled things by remodeling my house. Wierd, I know, but it helped. Do what works for you and don't let others provoke you. So what if your co-worker gets the boss involved? I think that would work more to your benefit if she did get the boss involved. Empty threats, that's all it was. She obviously didn't thoroughly think through the consequences. You did the right thing.
