He still affects me flipflopnomore: I haven't spoken to stbxh directly in person or on the phone for nearly 2 weeks now. He sent some texts over the weekend to which I did not respond.
I had to call him about some tax info that we needed and dreaded making the call. I heard his voice and I tried to keep it short and to the point. I asked the questions, got my answers and got off the phone. He was friendly, I was doing my best to hold it together.
I got off the phone and I am shaking and full of anxiety. Just hearing his voice makes me so upset with anger, sadness, grief, hurt. How can you be treated so badly by someone and still feel hurt and miss them? I should be hating him (which part of me does) for all he has done. But the pain I feel right now is incredible. I miss hearing his voice.
When does this go away? I am so tired of hurting.
Re: He still affects me qmambo: hey FFNM
I know exactly how you feel hun, you still want him to txt and call and when he does your frozen - its fear, panic, anxiety, yearning, depression, hunger, pain all rolled into one and it sucks everything out of you. you are right in the thick of it as am I!
I have had no contact now since sunday and i havent contacted him - even ringing the solicitors to see where we are at legally makes me feel sick and he was the one who has hurt me more than i could imagine but when someone you love does something like that to you, it throws you into a mass of confusion - how could he, why did he, i dont believe it, ihate him etc. and your heart and brain are battling one another tryin to make sense of it all - its a massive loss and someone has died to you, not physically but the spirit of the person you knew or thought you knew is dead and you have to heal and let go and the worst part is that their body is still living and you may even see them - its like an opticial illusion on an acid trip.
pm me if you like, im struggling with it all
Re: He still affects me icwtsmnl: [quote author=flipflopnomore link=topic=41582.msg467421#msg467421 date=1172088893">
When does this go away? I am so tired of hurting.
[/quote">
I wish I knew, too. My ex was just in my office venting about the boss and I kept getting whiffs of his cologne. I just wanted to blurt out, "I still love you!!! Don't you love me? Why can't things change! I just want to be with you and buy my face in your neck and smell your cologne all night".
But I played "I don't care" again.
Re: He still affects me wizer_now: [quote author=icwtsmnl link=topic=41582.msg467525#msg467525 date=1172093995"> My ex was just in my office venting about the boss
[/quote">
I don't think your ex should be talking to you at all. That's what no contact is all about. These ongoing conversations are delaying your healing.
At least he saw the plant?
Re: He still affects me icwtsmnl: you knew he did. :)
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