I think my wife is a lesbian Dbusterplus: I have been married to my wife for 2 1/2 years, together for 3 years, I know, we married fast. But we loved each other and thought it was the right thing to do. We have no children yet and are kind of at a crossroads. She is extremely attracted to women, and this was a problem in our marriage for a while. I didn't know what to do so I decided to try and roll with it and let her do things with a woman as long as I could be involved somehow, even just to watch, and we had ground rules, like I don't touch the other girl, not that I even wanted to. But I know she doesn't like me being involved, and I can't stand her being with someone else in our bed, especially behind my back. I more or less caved to make her happy and keep the peace in our relationship, but I've become more vocal in my dissapproval of having to deal with this type of lifestyle, and now I can never think of anything else than wanting a normal life with a normal girl that doesn't like girls more than i do. I have tried to end things with my wife for quite sometime, but I know she still loves me and does not want to lose me, not to mention she doesn't make very much money on her own, and her family is Jehova's Witnesses, and if they found out she was gay, they'd vehemently disown her and throw her out on the street. They were un-thrilled enough that she married a non-religious person like myself. Anyway, anyone got any ideas on how to go about this? I feel very depressed and extremely alone here, I love her, and I couldn't live with leaving her to fend for herself, but I can't continue living like this, I deserve to be happy, but I want to go about it with without destroying someone else in the process. Please help me.
Re: I think my wife is a lesbian wizer_now: [quote author=Dbusterplus link=topic=41601.msg467948#msg467948 date=1172123544"> I have tried to end things with my wife for quite sometime, but I know she still loves me and does not want to lose me, not to mention she doesn't make very much money on her own, and her family is Jehova's Witnesses, and if they found out she was gay, they'd vehemently disown her and throw her out on the street.
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That's the key. You're concerned about what SHE wants. What about you? She's making a conscious decision here. You're left holding the tattered remnants of whatever your marriage WAS.
[quote author=Dbusterplus link=topic=41601.msg467948#msg467948 date=1172123544"> I deserve to be happy, but I want to go about it with without destroying someone else in the process.
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She's not your responsibility anymore. She's a big girl, and she's made her own choices. If she's unwilling to stop, or go to counseling, or let you get involved with her and the other chick, then there's nothing left for you there. You gotta take care of yourself. If she is destroyed, she did it to herself. She started it, you simply finished it.
Re: I think my wife is a lesbian ezekiel: Well man, I don't know what to tell you other than walk away. You put yourself into the situation the moment you allowed it to happen. Going back in time now is next to impossible since your relationship has been tainted. As much as some guys may not see the problem with this, I fully understand why you may be hurt.
Since you haven't been married for that long, you should be able to get a Summary Dissolution (short divorce). It is quick and painless (less the emotional pain), no lawyers are needed. Overall, I can only imagine how you feel.
Find that 'normal' girl and restart your life, it's never too late. Good luck.
Re: I think my wife is a lesbian scuba_dvr: I recall reading somewhere that once you are with someone for 3 years, it's the same as if you are together for 30+ years. The bond is formed and is about as strong as it's gonna get.
You're just under that mark. Consider yourself fortunate. You're not completely bonded yet.
Re: I think my wife is a lesbian spooky: That's rough. Kinda sounds like something is going on there. So you think she might be gay or bi? Being married to a guy is sort of confusing. If she really wants to save the marriage and loves you she should be able to bring herself to stop playing with other women for it. If not, that's her own choice and the fallout that goes with it as well. It's a good characteristic in you that you don't want her to have to go through it, but why should you sped the rest of your life in an unhappy situation just so she can have her fun? Really tough spot ot be in, I hope you find your way out of it.
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