Dating Tip for Women LSFool: Dear Ojar Ladies,
Although usually I make a man wait at least a couple of months before I do the deed, during my last failed relationship, I gave in on the fourth date.
Maybe it was out of loneliness, maybe it was because I was coming off a 9 month drought, and maybe it was the doctor thing, who knows.
Anyway, it did not set a good tone for the "relationship."
Just a reminder to make the man wait, because it takes oh so much longer for a man to make an emotional investment in you.
(also see the book, "Date Like a Man" by Myreah Moore)
One tactic that I use for principle and health as well as strategy, is when the sex request comes up, I tell the man that I will not have sex until we both get an HIV test. This buys you about three more weeks. And of course, you can make him wait longer before this.
The book "Date Like a Man" (recommended by Lone Longhorn) makes a good point in that if a man just wants sex, he can just get in anywhere, so there should be no pressure on you for making him wait. And men like it when you make them wait.
It's funny, but even though I consider myself a tough, seasoned woman in the dating world, in my last relationship, I found myself caving in to the pressure when I had only caved in that early once or twice before in my life. (with disastrous results)
The irony is that this guy got me into bed on the fourth date and then he couldn't even get it up at all. I felt sorry and embarrassed for him, so I went ahead and slept with him later that night.
Big mistake!
A man with this kind of physical problems will have emotional problems as well!
Ladies, make that man wait!
Re:Dating Tip for Women Suddenly Single: I agree with you LS! Unfortunately I also made a similar mistake but I didn't wait until the fourth date...it was actually still the 1st or 2nd date...complicated story...he stayed over after the first date but we didn't do "it"...anyway...also similar problem...he also had problems getting it up and you hit the nail on the head that if they have problems like that it is linked to psychological problems because boy was that ever the true case with this guy!!
Waiting is the best advice especially when we are in this vulnerable state of mind! I'm still trying to get rid of him because of all of his problems! The only good thing that came of it was when it worked...it was good! But not worth all the problems it caused me in the end!
Good Post! Thanks!
Re:Dating Tip for Women RecoveringinDE: I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that. I haven't really experienced the dating scene. My stbx and I were together since we were 18. Oye.
I'm not into having a rebound relationship so to speak. Granted I'm not going to get obsessive on my first relationship, but I plan to have fun and not allow sex to screw it up so to speak.
Re:Dating Tip for Women computerperson: Can I join this conversion from a guy's point of view?
The best relationship I probably ever had was with someone right out of HS and we never slept together.
My ex and I barely made it through our first "date", which really wasn't even a date.
For my next time around, I'm going to do my best to hold out for at least a month, if not longer, because sex gets in the way of a relationship...well early on it can. I want to be with someone because I love being around her not because I love being naked with her.
And right now, the thought of having sex with someone else is kind of scary...I don't even know if I'm ready for sex with someone now. I've already dated a little and don't want to stop dating, but sex is another story...
Good luck ladies, I do hear what you're saying on the subject, even if I'm not female.
Re:Dating Tip for Women seth: Well, I'm 29 and I've never, ever had a problem w/ getting an erection. Totally can't identify w/ the Bod Dole thing....
If anything, I'd like to be able to take a pill to make these erections just kind of go away.... Anyway, my ex never had much of a sex drive (depression and antidepressants and bisexual to boot) and she had the nerve to tell me she left in part because i didn't "satifsy her needs." God I hate that b-tch.
She was a total whore before that too. believe me, I like a girl who isn't a total whore and wouldn't mind waiting at all...... That's a good thing. Sex should be betwen people in love. I had a girl throw herself at me but I didn't think it'd go anywhere so I ddidn't do anything about. I kicked myself for a while but I rationalize that having sex w/ someone might make you fall in love w/ someone you don't want to fall in love w/.
And I think I fall in love too easily. So beter to be conservative about sex.....
