too young to get married, but everybodt force the issue onex99: I was 18 years old when I first met her. Just broke up with a girl who was great only because of the distant between us. When we met things were ok. I started noticing things that I didn't like but nobody perfect (was looking
for someone to be just special). She got pregnant that when soon after and that when things got bad and she got evil. Her parents found out and kick her out twice. She moved in with a friend (girl) we both knew for school. Her boyfriend's best friend was there at the same time, who I believed she fooled around with. I say this because soon after I confronted her about what I believed to be true ( by the way I asked the people who were there and nobody knows anything everybody playing stupid now) and the her comes the jealous, accusing me of allows ways treating, which I never did honestly. This behavior never stopped for the first four years. The second time she got kicked out of her house her parents he moved in with me, by now we have our first son together. The behavior I mentioned early on has now tripled. At this time I’m 19 she’s 18 and were not married, but leaving together. People around me are my church family so the issue is are you going to do the right thing. Which everybody here is laying it on thick the right thing to do is get married. I don't have enough room to tell every worse case out come they gave me and the idea of her raising our child with her being the primary influence in my son's life is too much to explain in one letter. So I married her, to the one thing I could change because since then I been leaving in sorrow grief and any other negative word you could think of. We have our down and our flat lines never any real ups (you know as in ups and downs).I know physical looks only plays a part but the weight she at knows is about double what she is when I first met her. (150 - 280lbs) We had more kids so that explain how she got the weight but it is her record breaking laziness that has kept it on. It hard because other people has commented on my looks to be above average. I do want a wife that is attracted; I like thick women not fat but thick and not ashamed to admit it. I try helping her with the weight from positive conversation, motivation to blunt honesty truth. Nothing. I see other females that to me are not as beautiful as the Beyonce or what ever but the desire they have in them to do better in life the things they want in life are so tempting it driving me crazy. I see it in them clear as day. I believe in my heart that men desire this. I have worked two and three jobs to support a family (the ladies that know and work with, they have giving me complements and wish the husband would do the same and could have met me a few years earlier). If I could do this the lest she could do is cook, which she don't ( my favorite food is a turkey sandwich, peanut butter jelly, or a bowl of cereal I can fix this myself ,but at times its nice to be appreciated)or clean, nor does she work. And when she did for only four mouths she acted like she didn't have to pay any bills. No man want a horrible wife. I am tried of being tried. So the problem I have four young kids ages 6,5,3,1 do I leave and try to make it better for my kids or can I leave for this reason. My wife messed over a good man and know his tried of not being happy.
she used to starts an argument on purpose never said so because she know I would said something first to keep peace in the home. We had kids and I didn’t want them to see this. I was never raised like this. She recently told me that she knew exactly what she was doing for the last 6 year. But said she felt she could do no wrong. When something is wrong I and she tell me I have a hard time trusting her because I drained from all this. Help me if you can wit some good advice please
Re: too young to get married, but everybodt force the issue sosad05: I agree that you both were way too young to take on all of that responsibility. However, you are in the situation now so you have to act responsibly, like an adult.
[quote"> We had more kids so that explain how she got the weight but it is her record breaking laziness that has kept it on.[/quote">
OMG!! Please keep in mind the poor woman had 4 kids!! I dont consider taking care of 4 children lazy! Do you have any idea how hard pregnancy is on a woman's body. From your posting, my guess is she stays home with these 4 kids. Do you offer to keep the kids for a few hours at night so she can go to the gym or walking?
I like to think there is always 2 sides to every story. From what you are saying, it sounds like she is probably very depressed. Since she stays home, I assume she is with the 4 kids all day? She is probably exhausted by the end of the day and has not motivation to "cook" a fancy dinner for you.
My suggestion is to seek some marital therapy. It sounds like you BOTH have some issues and need a neutral party to help mediate.
Re: too young to get married, but everybodt force the issue onex99: no i havn't offer to watch the kids a few hour here and there. I work a lot which is no excuse for her not having a break. Three of the four kids are in school or day care full time. Which is way i have a hard time seeing an excuse for a house that has the same mess from two even three days ago. My average work days 10 hours 6 days a week. My parents stay 5 min away and have there grand kids quite often. Reading this respones has help with the painful truth that there might be two sides to this story.
Re: too young to get married, but everybodt force the issue sosad05: That is the hardest part to try and realize what role you might play in the problems. Maybe you can hire a babysitter that can come over a couple night a week so she can have some time to herself. I definitely think you should talk to her about therapy so the two of you can work on saving your marriage. Good luck! :)
