Re: woke tempted to email him again, someone please tlak me out of it! :( sja: I know it's hard not to, but you should try not to look at that website. What are you getting out of it? It just makes you hurt each time you look at it. It is not going to provide answers to any questions you might have either. You know he is with her. The website is not going to explain why he is with her and not with you. I know you are really hurt; I would be too. But you are lucky that he ended it when he did instead of getting married to you at some point in the future and starting a relationship with someone else. You are young, and there are loads of guys out there for you to meet in your future who will treat you nice and want to be with you. Remind yourself that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. I sometimes talked myself out of emailing or calling by telling myself that wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me is repulsive and not fair to me.
Re: woke tempted to email him again, someone please tlak me out of it! :( broken_saint: Licy,
i've been where you are and have seen the stuff you're looking at. i'm being completely honest when i say IT HURTS at the very least. it burned me for a very long time. i mean, how can someone who was that close to you just leave for someone else and treat you like you just don't exist anymore, right? well, it's been about a year now since it happened and at first the devastation was so overwhelming that i could not function day to day and it nearly killed me and i almost lost my job cuz of it.
right now you're going to go through alot of emotions, some stronger than the last. but you have to hang in there and let what has happened settle in and take its course. my advise to you is that you really should not contact him. do you understand why? because as fucked up as it sounds, it will just feed his ego and he really doesnt care about anything or anyone but himself... his reasons for leaving were selfish and he will continue that path with you no matter what you say. remember Licy, you are a treasure and you have to realize that ... but he screwed things up with you by throwing everything you stood for away. HE did this, not you! ... this is what he wanted and unfortunately you have no choice but to accept it. time is a healer they say, i didn't want to take that advise either...
for me, she was my best friend, the only one that understood and knew me ... i just "wanted her back" but it never happened, nor did she ever try to contact me again. later i learned that i had to let it go. plus, since this person was capable of doing this to me after 9 years for the most ridiculous reasons that she would be capable of doing much worse to others later in her life and i refuse to have that since i love myself much more than that.
hang in there is all i can say and don't do anything you will regret. read and post here as much as you can since we are here for you. if you feel like writting him a letter, post it here instead. what you're feeling right now will pass as the days go on and the day will come when he realizes that he threw away a beautiful relationship with you, but that will only come if you give him the space it takes for that. they can hold our hearts but not our defeat.
Believe in karma Licy! they always get theirs.
hugs to you, tomorow is another day
welcome to ojar.
Re: woke tempted to email him again, someone please tlak me out of it! :( licy: hiya
Thanks for your reply its means alot, what you say is true and i know that your right, i dont know how or why he could of done this to me but the fact is that he has and i need to deal with it
i have to snap out of this state of mind because its making me ill :( i havnt eat properly for days iv lost almost 4 pounds this week alone :( im only slim already so im starting to look very ill, im cooking right now but i feelsick constantly, the thought of him with someone else :(
Re: woke tempted to email him again, someone please tlak me out of it! :( JadedButtafly: [quote"> the thought of him with someone else [/quote">
just try to remember sweetie, how good could he really be if he gave you up? She's getting used merchanise and it might be defective in the long run :) lol seriously though, it helps to have a humor look at it, because if you dont you drive yourself insane thinking about it.
Re: woke tempted to email him again, someone please tlak me out of it! :( broken_saint: hi Licy,
i went from 210 to 160 in less than 2 months ... i wouldn't eat, i was just not hungry at all. i couldnt sleep, i was up constantly thinking and staring at the walls. people were literally invisible to me. you could've lit me up on fire and i wouldn't care. i was a zombie... no direction ... just falling deeper and deeper into a black hole. i never got the closure you got in the begining of my separation. i had no idea why she was gone. whenever i asked "why are you doing this? ... what did i do?" the only answer she provided was "i don't know". this cloud i was in was the control she had over me and i lost every bit of it.
this isn't going to be easy. it's gonna take some time, you wont snap out of it any time soon and it's very understandable. but as the days go on you will learn to control it and the tears will stop running and your days will hold laughter again.
Eat, keep yourself busy, join a gym, go out or chat with friends, get out of the house on the weekends if you could (and dont pass by his), take up an online course in something, let this be the fuel to your fire ...
Click More for the next page.
