Re: Update on my soap opera MelanieW: Thank you hon!
Tonight I have already gotten 2 emails from him. The first one is claiming that by paying the electric bill I stole from him and committed fraud. (he has told me to pay it with his card)
The second one saying I intentionally messed with his computer and that he will be having it fixed and the bill sent to me.
I can see he doesn't like not having any control, and he is doing whatever he can to keep contact with me. So Sad!
Re: Update on my soap opera MelanieW: MQO ~ Thanks for the advice hon. I am doing what you suggested and focusing on me and the 3 boys. I forgot to mention earlier that M came home the day my stbxh left. (M is my stbxh son that he beat up last weekend).
Anway, I feel completely at peace with the steps i have taken and the way I have handled things this weekend. I am not second guessing myself @ all, which is VERY unusual since I am so analytical anyway! For the first time I feel good about myself, and I feel as though, even if I am getting accused of doing all of these things, I know I am not, and I have nothing to proove to anyone except myself. It's a very nice and very welcome change!
Re: Update on my soap opera qmambo: good on you! you will be fine and eventually very very happy :-)
Update on my soap opera MelanieW: I wanted to update everyone on what happened around here.
S is now gone. He left Saturday after his parents bailed him out of jail. I did allow him to gedt his big screen, his laptop, and the other computer, along with all of his personal belongings. I did not allow him in the house though. I had a few friends over, and we all moved it outside for him. He was very frustrated, as the police were here, and they couldn't force me to let him in. He called my father to get me to let him in and get everything he wanted, but it didn't work.
He called me about every 30 minutes after he left. First to accuse me of stealing something, trying to ruin his computer, or whatever else he could think of. Then the calls turned to "why did you say this, why did you do that?" Maybe one of you guys can explain to me why he needed to discuss those things with me at all. Why does it matter? We were over and finished! So why try and talk it all out with me, why waste the energy? I was not upset or crying after Friday night. I can tell you that the only feeling I have left for him is indifference. I figure maybe that is what he sensed in me, since I refused to get angry or yell, and he realized he had lost all control. Anyway ~ after the last call, I told him that I would not be answering anymore of his phone calls. If he wants to contact me he may email me, and that if that gets out of control I will simply block him as "junk" mail. Right now I feel "No Contact" is absolutly the way to go. I may feel differently in a few months, but for now, I need to focus my energies somewhere else besides him and his problems.
As a footnote ~ he has filed 2 charges against me. 1. for lying to the police about him shoving me. He claims he never touched me, and that the cop that arrested him didn't follow procedure so he will be getting fired. Alos that he got his daughter and her 2 friends to put in a statement caliming they never saw him touch me at all. ~ sigh ~
2. He is claiming that I kicked 3 minors out on the streets after he was arrested. He got the girls to file a report on this one too I am told. It seems I told his daughter I hated her, and then kicked her and her friends out. Once S was taken to jail, his daughter got on the phone with the OW. I went and called his daughters friends parents, to get the girls picked up and taken home. Those girls had no business being here and seeing everything that took place. So S's daughter started telling me how much she hated me. Well the OW told K that she should go stay with another friend if she didn't feel safe with me here. My comment was, "I think thats a good idea." After about 20 minuted, the girls were all still running in and out of the house, and I did say that " if you guys are going then you need to go". It seems that is me "Kicking them on the streets". I had a friend with me while all of this was going on. I am not worried at all. At this point I just want them both gone and out of my life. If I end up going to jail over what I said, then so be it. At least I will be away from them!
I wanted to say thank you to those of you that PMed me, responded to my thread from before, and even the sweet person that talked with me over the phone! All of your concern has been so helpful, and has helped me feel at peace with the things I have done over the last 48 hours. I feel like I handled the situation as best I could, with as much of a level head as possible.
I would like some feedback on what I just posted. I admit the one thing that has me confused is why he feels the need to "talk this out" with me. I can honestly say that over the last week, it has been obvious to me that he has started having second thoughts. My thing is, if he started this whole mess, why feel guilty?
Re: Update on my soap opera qmambo: Hey doll, right now i think he is in shock - its actually happening and you are no longer in his control as you said. but ive read your posts and this is not a rational man you are dealing with, he is angry and bitter so of course he will ring and abuse you and flipflop from one thing to the next, he is hurt and you damaged his manly pride by not allowing him in the house and having your friends there and being as strong as you were - well done girl!
Just try and keep focusing on you now, this is your time, once all the dust has settled you will probably experience and sense of loss again but this time it will be very short lived and you will be able to handle it much better! its the aftermath :-)
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