Re: Still in pain MM_02: I wish it is that easy to let somebody go, I could’ve done it long time ago. I am trying everything I can to forget her but it is not easy. But I am doing better, at least she is not occupying 100% if my thought, she is down to 85% now. What is bothering me is the thought of how long would it takes to completely forget her (to come to 0%). Six months later I am still thinking about her. It is sucks just to think about how long would it takes to be completely healed. I really don’t want to waist that much time of my life thinking about someone that is already gone. But it is messed up that I can’t decide the time. It made me feel better coming to this forum, to see other peoples who are suffering from this crap.
Re: Still in pain ace1234: I think maybe if she's married you have to move on man. Someone did that to me and alot of other guys on this site and it sucks to be the husband. I think maybe you should concentrate on school and finding a new girlfriend. I know it's not easy, and even though she's married you still have feelings for her, but sounds like you gotta let her go.
Just a thought, but maybe try to move on.
Good luck.
Still in pain MM_02: The girl I love deeply, and I was in relationship with her for three years. Suddenly, she got married to another person. I left out a lot of unnecessary details, but the cause wasn’t cheating or any kind of problem, it was a church and her family that involved between our relationships. She also was hurt by the situation, the pain was very unbearable for both of us, and we kept a secret relationship even after she got married. People found out about our relationship after she got married and we fall into a lot troubles. The pastor spoke about our secret relationship in front of the congregation. We went through a lot of stress and hell at that time. After a temporary separation with her husband, with a lot of counseling and arbitrary from the church elderly she got back with her marriage. But me, I still having problems coping with loneliness, low self teem, and stress. I am considered adulteries in my community and people do not want to associate with me. I do not have anyone I can talk to. Now the concern is my education. Because of the pain I went through I took a brake from school for one semester. Now I am back to school but still having problems concentrating and dealing with the school work.
Re: Still in pain ace1234: ya, everybody here is suffering from it.
I think that if you just give it some time and allow yourself to forget it from time to time it will fade. I think I have gotten better just thinking about my stbxw 98% of my day, and I am about 8 months in. My wife is not coming back and I need to get myself completely prepared for that reality. I have been alone for 8 months but realistically probably 1 year and 8 months.
I've come to the realization that if you truly love her you'll just let her go and let her be happy, even if that's not with you. That's what I have unfortunately had to do.
Good luck man.
l8r
