Re: Guys HELP ME Percy123: One problem with trying to put the peices back, is that you are your own rebound partners. In a short whie, things go back to the wat they were and both are reminded of why they had problems before.
A life forever with kids and a house is a big thing. All the time in the world. You guys have alot of passion and emotion cooking right now and should slow it down a little. Examine what went wrong, take an objective look and move forward slowly.
I did this same thing b4 after a 6-8 month break-up. We came back together guns blazing and were married a year or so later. Divorced a year after that. She was the same person and fixed all the things for about 6 months.......Just something to think about.
Forever is a long time, so slowing the pace won't hurt anyone and if he is true to his intentions and so are you, it shouldn't matter.
Re: Guys HELP ME qmambo: yeah i am in counselling right now! but initially its been about him as i had no closure or answers you know. the whole thing is a mess, we have both been through hell, we have both put each other through hell - he said that last night - and i think counselling may help us i dont know, but yeah you do need trust and i did still have some left until sunday night and now i am doing all kinds of crazy things! which have to stop as i dont want my life ruled by this distrust
Re: Guys HELP ME sja: A relationship would be very hard to pursue without trust. Trust is everything.
Have you considered working on yourself, figuring out what you want and defining yourself apart from him since you've been with him for so long? You will probably learn a lot and open yourself up to a better relationship in the future, one without abuse.
Re: Guys HELP ME qmambo: yes i think he is verbally abusive to me, whereas i lsh out at him he uses words and i lash out and all he can say is that it is my fault as there is no excuse to hurt someone physically, pushing or whatever, but i said to him i am willing to address that (this was b4 i found out about her on sunday) but i need him to say i was verbally abusive to you and emotionally withdrawn but he wont he keeps saying its your fault, i cheated because of what you did to me.
i do want us to work but i just dont think its possible now and i feel when im with him that he is telling the truth but as soon aswe are apart i keep thinking liar liar and it wont go away.
yeah i think and i even said to him that he is willing to go to counselling to fix me! I think he thinks he has been as supportive and loving as a man could me and he genuinely thinks that and says i am the one with the problem.
sunday was hard enough hearing about her and y'day he stayed last night and it ended well between us but again when he left i didnt trust him and i checked his email and hed changed password again between leaving me and going to work (this is the guy who let me know his password throughout our relationship and hid nothing and never went online in the mornings before work). i think he checked to see if she contacted him and make sure i didnt see anything! i just cant trust him - hes now a 40 y old lad and i look at him like he is a stranger
Re: Guys HELP ME sja: I meant to ask...what do you think? Do you feel as though he's being honest? Does he see that you're stronger now and is afraid that he can't just have you back whenever he fancies? And how do you feel about everything?
Click More for the next page.
