The Ex is Spreading Lies About Me! aimless: K, cut a long story short, ex husband and I split last January (2006) after he met someone on the internet, decided to leave and was engaged to her within three weeks...even though she was in the States and he in New Zealand - cut to approx. 3 months later, he meets an 18 year old and decides to hook up with her so dumps his 'internet chick'.
When he left his last words were, you'll move on and find someone else, you'll never hear from me again - broke my heart and the first 9 months of 2006 was the worst year of my life - this is saying a lot considering my mother passed away in 2005 and I thought that was the worst year of my life.
2006 I was suicidal and definately felt like I was losing the plot big time, I felt like my life was spiralling out of control and I had no way of stopping the feelings of inadequacy and failure.
Anyway, when he left he left me with all the rent of the house and all the bills - did not contribute to anything at all, I had to get a consolidated loan to pay off all HPs so as not to go into bankruptcy. My best friends who I did my OE with ended up moving me out of the house and we ended up flatting together, my first few months with them were very sad until one day i decided that's it, he doesn't care about me why dwell on what could have been.
As for me never hearing from him, he would text me once a month without failure in the end I texted back and told him to take his reminder off his phone as I no longer needed to hear from him...this did not stop him, over the past 3-4 months (in fact ever since I started having a good time and movin on with my life) he's been texting almost weekly, I'm always polite to him and ask how he's doing, idle chit chat via text message.
Now, today I meet one of my friends who is a sales rep, this friend goes into ex's work once every six months, he said he went in a couple of weeks ago but ex ignored him. Said to ex's workmates he's known ex for X amount of years but hasn't seen him since the marriage split. Ex's workmates then go on to tell him ex has been saying:
1. He left me because I cheated on him when I went to Australia in Dec 2005 - LIE!
2. I threaten him (present tense!) with calling NZ immigration to get his residency revoked - the night we broke up (22 January 2006) I did say this to him in the heat of the moment, I have never again said this to him or used this against him.
3. I left him with a shitload of debt and walked away scott free - um - yea right...please explain to me dear ex WHY I HAVE A CONSOLIDATED LOAN THAT'LL TAKE ME FIVE YEARS TO PAY OFF?!?
The night we broke up (22 Jan 06) was the last night we spoke face to face and the last night we had a huge argument, since then our only communication has been when he texts me - not vice versa...and all our communication has been friendly and polite.
I've always been the kinda chick that if you cheat - you're gone...once he hooked up with his 18 year old that was it as far as I was concerned, never go back to that.
You know, after everything he put me through, even though we never see each other and only have contact through text messaging I never once thought he would spread these vicious lies about me! I am so angry at him and just tried to ring him but it goes straight to voice mail so have just sent him a text telling him to never contact me again until we are eligble for divorce - told him I'd heard the lies he's been spreading. Man, he sure did have me fooled, I never once, the whole time we were together, ever think he could be so deceiving. I know he'll get his but he doesn't need to drag my name down with him.
I don't understand why he would do this...I know he thought it would probably never get back to me but...for gods sake its a freaking small world, six degrees of separation and all. What a complete loser! Sooooo better off without the likes of him in my life!
So my question is, why the F would he spread lies about me...I'm spewing.
Re: The Ex is Spreading Lies About Me! darkrose: Why? Guilt.
He's trying to make himself out to be a martyr. He's portraying you in a bad light so that he can legitimize his reasons for leaving to himself and his friends. My stbxw did the same thing..except my friends knew the real story and didn't believe her.
Re: The Ex is Spreading Lies About Me! aimless: block his texts...wish it were that easy, if only mobile companies came up with the technology. All good, its called selective reading and replying. He's a loser who is trying to redeem himself. He replied to my abusive text tonight asking what I had heard and "swore" he hasn't said anyting about me; what the F ever. I so don't care anymore, I'm over him hurting me. He gave up any right to my emotions the day he walked out. Sure he can make me angry, just makes it easier to hate him more, but he can never hurt me, my tears are for another, and they will be tears of happiness that I share, not sadness.
