Re: Why it hurts more early in the morning? ace1234: I agree, you're probably dreaming. I still wake up thinking about my stbxw. I am sure it's because I'm dreaming about her all night. I had a panic attack one night. I became naseous, had butterflies, then felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. All in the space of a few seconds.
Classic panic attack. Remember the old saying though, 'God (if you believe) doesn't give you anymore than you can handle'.
Take care.
l8r
Re: Why it hurts more early in the morning? Older Guy: Probably has to do with the fact that you have to face a big, whole new day and deal with your issues and the way that you react to it.
Re: Why it hurts more early in the morning? gdgross: For me it was like this:
As I gradually came into awareness when I woke up from sleep each day, there was a brief time when I didn't really remember that my wife had left me. I kind of fell back on my training over the last several years and expected her to be around, or next to me in bed or whatever. As I became more alert, I would gradually realize that, "oh yeah, she is gone" again and again every day.
Those moments when I didn't remember what had happened were wonderful, but the dawning realization each day just left me more and more depressed.
That's why mornings were hard for me.
Geoff
Re: Why it hurts more early in the morning? infinity8245: I have to agree with everything that has been said and also say that I feel for you, because I am right there with you.
In the morning, if I wake up once, I find it hard to fall asleep again even if I'm tired, because thoughts are just racing through my head, and I don't feel that I've woken up enough to really get a grasp of what is going on in my life. I can think about my situation later in the day and although it hurts, later I feel like I'm sorting out what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it rather than just moping around.
I've found that in the morning it almost seems so surreal. My girlfriend and never slept next to each other enough for me to have it feel weird that she's not there when I wake up, but for me everything that's happened is so unbelievable. It's like the last couple weeks were a bad dream almost, and it hurts as I start to piece back together that yes, I am alone, and yes it hurts. I reach over and check my phone and there's no text from me to say good morning, I check my e-mails and nothing. I'm getting a little better at not doing that and just learning to accept it, but the mornings are pretty terrible. I just don't think your mind is quite in the mental state to fully accept your circumstances.
What I've been doing the last couple days, which have helped, is as soon as I wake up and realize that I probably won't fall asleep, I get up, and grab my guitar, and just start practicing. Find something to do in the morning that has nothing to do with your loss, and although you might be thinking about it the entire time, you'll be occupying yourself, getting the blood flowing, and snapping yourself back to reality, which you were able to handle yesterday, and will definitely be able to handle today.
I also have this poster in my room of the move rising over crashing waves and it says, "If today was perfect, there would be no need for tomorrow." Maybe it's cheesy, but if you can hang something on your wall that is a good quote that gets you going and read it every morning, it might make you fel a little bit better.
Re: Why it hurts more early in the morning? cole: My mornings are the same way. I wake up to a racing heart, almost in a panic. I lay there trying to figure out whats wrong, and why I feel that way. Then the thoughts start flooding in, the pending divorce, the coustody battle, the stress, the pain. Then once it has all settled in, I feel as if my day couldn't get any worse. Then I realize, It can't. So the sun comes up, I take my shower, I get my kids off to school, I go to work...
It's almost like Groundhogs day. But every morning seems a little better. I just carry over one possitive thought from the previous day, and use it against my almost unbarable morning. Sometime in the next 10 years I hope to wake up with a smile on my face.
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