Severing the last strands...need a little bit of advice infinity8245: So...my ex and I broke up a little bit ago, and I happen to work at the same coffee shop as her. Also, the new guy that she has rebounded with is there too. Which, I found out, he was trying to break us up and turn her against me all along. It worked. She fell for it. She ate up everything he said and the entire month that we fought that burned our relationship down, is now justified. My anger and skepticism into something going on between those two was completely right. Everyone else that I work with and several other friends including his roommate think he's not only an asshole for this, but just an indecent person in general. This girl and I have been through a lot and the chances are we'll end up piecing back together at least a friendship, though maybe more again...long story. We've been through worse, and I've been her only boyfriend and she's never dated anyone who's a complete asshole. Anyways. But in the meantime, I guess she needs to learn her lesson on her own, and for me to deal with this and move on, I need to get out of there. So I gave my two weeks, and although the management is sad to see me go, they understand.
Here's my main question though. On new job applications I need to list a "reason for leaving" and I don't want to put personal reasons or anything like that. Anyone here have a reasonable reason for leaving that doesn't actually sound terrible? Yeah...
Re: Severing the last strands...need a little bit of advice Percy123: Telling the you are seeking to advance yourself through new experiences and job opportunities.
You might just tell the truth that your significan tother works at your previous job and due to that situation it is best if you seek new employment. Tel them you loved you r last job but this was too much to contitune there.
Best bet with your gal is to walk away and turn a shoulder to her for a little bit. If this guy is an A-hole, it will show and she will realize. Your long history wil work for you and she will come back. Do you want her back after she did this to you? Would you continue to persue a LTR or more with someone who did this basically in front of your face?
Something to think about.
Re: Severing the last strands...need a little bit of advice infinity8245: I've thought about that, and here's what I've come to.
I had my problems in our relationship, and although he was a big part of the end (she doesn't see that now, but she probably will because he can't hide who he is and be sweet forever. Plus everyone's one my side and is SUPER pissed at the both of them...), I had my issues on my end. I should've handled a lot of things differently...such as anger management. I never beat her or abused her, but I would lose my temper a bit much, though this time my anger was so justified... In any case, I'm sorting through those problems, and others that I don't feel like mentioning through seeking help through a therapist who can first off, help me cope with the loss, and second, help me face my inner demons and conquer them. So I'm taking this time and this hurt to better myself and deal with things that are problems in all aspects of my life, including the relationship I had with her.
That being said, I digress.
We've had our problems and chances are that she will come back in one form or another. I know that I'll forgive her someday, I just don't know when. And I don't know if I'll trust her enough to really give it another try. I have a feeling that if she wants she can win my trust back. Call me overly idealistic, but I've known this girl for four years, and this is not who she is. She's always been so sheltered throughout high school (her parents...) and now that she's independent in college, it seems like she's changing a little and growing up, and I see this as part of it. I strongly believe that it's not a permanent change and I believe her acting completely irrational lately is a phase of hers. This isn't who she is. That and she didn't gradually fall into what she is...it was a very quick change...almost overnight. Real changes in people almost always take a long time. And for something like she's doing, it seems like she'll "get it out of her system" so to speak. I know she's better than this. I remember going through what she did, and I went crazy and went off my rocker for a while and I went through all sorts of crap my freshman year of college while we were apart (as in not dating at the time due to various mutually agreed circumstances). After all was said and done, I sat down and regained my footing and grew up.
But, if she comes back, she is going to have to work for my trust again. And if she doesn't want to do that, then she's not worth it. Right now she doesn't know everything I do about his ulterior motives, and right now, it's not worth telling her. She'll most likely find out that he's a jerk on her own, and when we are talking again, I'll be sure to let her know what I know, and tell why I acted like I did. In the mean time, however, if I find someone else that seems great, I won't get caught up waiting for her. I won't get with someone else if I'm still getting over her a lot, but I won't let future prospects of putting my ex and I back together ruin a potentially fruitful and enjoyable new experience.
