The Ability of God frostbite: I just don't know what to do. I've posted my situation previously under "Hope Floats", so I won't rehash. I just need to vent this morning a bit because I can't get over the fact that my spouse feels NOTHING for me. It is very baffling, not to mention replete with pain (and an ounce of anger), that someone can toss another without having "just cause". There has been no abuse or being inconsiderate itsh that my spouse has had to endure. My spouse is simply "justified" by their own feelings.....so much so that nothing else carries any weight. Needless to say, this week has not been a good week....which is why I'm venting this morning.
I feel like there should be SOME level of appreciation for something. It was NOT a bad marriage. I just don't get how "void of feeling" someone can be after many years, many memories, and many accomplishments.
I know how cliche-ish it is to say that it takes two to make it bad, but there are exceptions to the rule. A good marriage is a good marriage.....until someone decides to feed their flesh and avoid the spiritual essence of the committment that was made.
God can do all things. I am wondering if he will "fix" the mentality of my spouse. As it stands, I don't know what to do....and can't think of anything to say. Counseling is out. "Trying" is not engaged in. I'm simply left to sit....but get tired of sitting. What I mean is that I'd rather "die" by way of a military marksman with a high powered rifle than by a road crew steamroller.
It is emotionally torturous to have someone to let you know in every way imaginable that they "aren't with you", but neither take action to heal it nor end it. I don't desire to end it, but I don't desire to be tortured.
I know you all can't speak for God, but how long does one wait things out?
Re: The Ability of God JadedButtafly: depends on the person; everyone heals at his or her own rate. As Mr-ojar says in one of his great books, sometimes you have to realize and understand there isn't always closure. I can not, nor can anyone, sit here and tell you how long you should take. It would be pointless to make a plan for something that just can't be planned. As being on who sat in her pain for quite a bit of time, the only advice I can give you is not to beat yourself up over this. Pain is something to be worked through and not sat in. We don't always want to work through, with sadness comes the urge to sit in the pain and feel sorry for and or beat ourseleves up over it. But sooner, rather than later, you'll need to pick yourself up and work though this. I know what you are thinking, yeah right I don't think I'll ever get over this. I know because I have been in your shoes. I had to completely hit rock bottom to realize that I was beating myself up way too much, and I had to let go. I found a book here at ojar that was really the start of my pulling myself up, thanks to our own Ojar-creator...(thankz man)...here's the link.
http://getover.divorcingsecrets.com/ also if you ever need anyone to talk to here, please feel free to PM me here. Best of luck to you, and remember there really is a light at the end of this darkness. (((HUGS)))
Re: The Ability of God Freckles: In my Marrage I was Trying and Wanting to Fix things.
My ExWife was just adding Hostility etc
Now a Year or two latter She does call me every 3 to 6 months Begging to come back(After She left and after She Filed for Divorce etc etc)
I am like * Wow, Why would I want to go down THAT Road agan?
God gave us both Free Will. She chose Wrong and is still there.
Re: The Ability of God darkrose: Regardless of what spiritual path you follow, you believe that some deity (I like to use the programming variable $DEITY to denote this) has control of your path and will lead you to choose the correct one. In times of trial, your faith is tested. You will say "Why are you doing this to me, $DEITY?", or "What the hell is your point, $DEITY".. It's all the same across all religions.
I assume you're a Christian, so I would say that you should put your faith in God's hands and let him lead you down the right path. You will know what's right for you when it happens.
I am not a Christian but I studied many religions extensively.
Re: The Ability of God JadedButtafly: [quote"> God can do all things. I am wondering if he will "fix" the mentality of my spouse.
He didn't fix mine.[/quote">
Just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he doesnt hear. It just means that you have one plan for your life while his is entire other plan. some say, wanna make God laugh, make plans :)
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