humiliation gns: The ex and I both work at the same place. He cheated (email flirted) and has been drinking/doing drugs. He seems to be doing fine and moving on and going on dates. He has befriended the woman he was email flirting with (a woman with a boyfriend telling my boyfriend at the time about her sexual dreams). I have been trying to work at outside sites and will be leaving soon.
I keep thinking everyone loves him (he is cute) and they must think terrible things about me, like he deserves so much better. I feel humiliated and judged and it isn't even really my fault. Any advice about how to deal with this?
Re: humiliation snkpack: You're probably just overly sensitive right now and projecting what you're thinking and feeling onto others. Avoid him as much as possible and if you can move onto another job, I would highly suggest it.
Re: humiliation stronger: I can definitely empathize here. My husband had a fling with a coworker while we were separated and for the next year (we work at the same place) I felt like everyone must know and must be laughing behind my back.
Over time I realized I could hold my head high and stop the paranoia. The woman left the company which certainly helped. It's not always easy to move jobs but definitely is the best option for a first step in healing.
Re: humiliation wizer_now: Being stuck in the same workplace as your ex is probably one of the most difficult things that can happen. As suggested, you are likely to be suffering from low self esteem and probably even some mild paranoia. The combination of the two has you thinking that everyone is talking about you and putting you down.
Realize that this is your mind playing games with you and is NOT reality. Accept the fact that over time you will start to feel better about yourself. Your ex is not a better person then you are, in fact, none of the people at your workplace are better than you either.
YOU are the most important person in your life. What anyone might think, what they might say, is of no relevance to you whatsoever. Just keep reminding yourself of that fact. And sure, if you can relocate, even to a job with less benefits or lower pay, it just might be worth it for the piece of mind.
Re: humiliation PennyLane: Gns........please know he is not doing as fine as you think. People who drink and do drugs to get by are not doing fine. And that isnt "moving on" in the right direction anyway.
Hang in there woman. You are going to be just fine.
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