Re: How is it? chaos40: [quote author=flipflopnomore link=topic=42539.msg485470#msg485470 date=1174441422">
How is it that the ones who fu**ed up, wrecked everyone's life, devastated families and children are the ones who move on so quickly?
My ex claims he doesn't have a gf, but yet has been seen at parties all over her and spends time with her and I sit here alone night after night. My phone is not ringing at all and I don't think it will.
How is it fair or right that I am paying the price of devastation and lonliness after everything HE has done and he has someone?
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b/c they moved on long before the actual event happened, they were just too chicken shit to be up front with thier spouses (You, me - everyone here) about it.
Re: How is it? soreheart: ...too chicken shit....
too true!
Re: How is it? flipflopnomore: OMG, I am in a real bad place now. Maybe because the divorce is now final (just waiting for the papers in the mail) and there is no going back.
MFer, loser, addict, family destroyer, selfish, manipulating, lying, golddigging, con artist. GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!
Re: How is it? chaos40: [quote author=flipflopnomore link=topic=42539.msg485689#msg485689 date=1174485638">
OMG, I am in a real bad place now. Maybe because the divorce is now final (just waiting for the papers in the mail) and there is no going back.
MFer, loser, addict, family destroyer, selfish, manipulating, lying, golddigging, con artist. GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!
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well, I can this this, only death is final. My parents got remarried after being divorced 22 years.
Re: How is it? Percy123: Flip,
I think the images we create in out head when we hear about our ex's moving on so quickly are usually more blissful than the reality. For a long time I created these same images with my ex. Everytime I got a piece of info, I would fill in all the blanks. I imagined Christmas songs and cookies baking while I sat here single.....
Wrong! The new person in your ex's life just got your garbage, they just don't know it yet. Everyone can put up a front and the newness of relationships cover a lot of sin.....
People don't change. Not unless they make a great effort to do so. You being here and single shows an effort at healing and understanding your failures. Him moving on quickly shows lack of change. Doomed to repeat.
I think it takes a long time to understand what you want in a relationship and it takes some courtship and learning about the person to know you are compatible over time. A rushed romance and quick coupling ain't doing the right thing.....It is common sense. Do you think he is insightful enough and understanding enough to work through the undiscovered issues in their new relationship?
Fast moves are an effort to avoid pain and loneliness. The distraction is instant. They say you will eat anything when you are hungry and that is what happens. Be patient. Give it some time. Know that he carried whatever drove you apart right into another relationship.
My ex was an unhappy miseable person with poor communication skills and very low self esteem. Guess what? She still is. She remarried a dude 8 months after papers were signed and all reports say she is still miserable! Stuck with a loser, a baby and life has not really changed for her, just the actors.....They are never seen together and she is reported to look skinny and gross......unhappy.
Sit back and don't fixate if you can.....Enjoy the trainwreck that you are not apart of anymore.
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